Things I Don't Want to Forget

Sprout discovered her belly button today. She has been obsessed with other people's belly buttons and thanks to Sandra Boynton and The Belly Button Book, we call them "bee-bo." Well, she finally figured out that she had one, too (even though we had pointed this out before) and walked around half the day with her shirt pulled up so that she could see and touch it whenever she wanted.

We took her to the doctor on Monday. She had a sinus infection and a mild double ear infection. No wonder she was so miserable! She's on antibiotics now and this morning she woke right up and was quite the happy, energetic, get-into-everything toddler that we remember. So while I'm glad she's feeling better, I'm exhausted!

She points to her eyes and says "eyes." When she points, though, she points with her thumb. Her forefinger is up straight and the rest of her fingers are clasped so it looks like she's doing the whole "loser" sign we used to do in middle school. Too funny. I hope she's not really just calling her parents losers.

She also consistently points to the following when asked: nose (finger always goes up her nostril when she points out her nose), ears, head, hair (she has to move her hand and mess up her hair on this one. Don't ask her if she's wearing a bow or it won't be there for long), mouth, and toes. If you ask her where her tongue is, she sticks it out like she's trying to touch her nose with it. I've been trying to teach her "tummy" but she still always points to her chest.

She got her new rocking horse from daddy today. It was back ordered, so it was a little late, but she loves it! And she is so cute riding on it. I was surprised that she liked it so much.

She fell two days ago and is still sporting a black eye. Poor baby. The same morning she slammed her hand in a drawer and she was also feeling miserable from her illness. It was a bad day!

Wow! That's a lot for just a few days. It's been a memorable week.

Merry Christmas!

What fun we had! Sprout was a trooper, but she felt miserable on Christmas. Even her Dr.Daddy was concerned. But she soldiered on and enjoyed all of her new toys and books. We took her to the (other) doctor today and it seems she has a sinus infection and a bit of an ear infection, so we're starting a round of antibiotics. Poor baby!

We had a fantastic trip to San Antonio, though. The warm weather was fantastic. And once again, Sprout was an A+ traveler. We were able to use her car seat on 3 out of the 4 flights even though we were traveling during Christmas week. We considered ourselves pretty lucky.

I have lots of things to remember and not much time to get them written down, but I continue to feel so blessed to watch her grow and think about how far we've come in a year. Her newest word - circle!

Things I Don't Want to Forget

Sprout has continued to add to her vocabulary. It is amazing to me. New words: Food, diaper (which sounds more like "baaaaaaaaper"), pen (while she's trying to steal her daddy's), frog (though I won't post what it actually sounds like), Turtle, and probably a few more that I can't remember right now. We've been keeping track and she's at about 20 words already ! Wow!

She's had a rotten cold this week. She's just been miserable, poor baby. She's had quite a few colds, but this one has hit her the hardest. Luckily, she's feeling better today. Unfortunately, she decided to share her germs with me and how I'm sick. Boooo!

When you ask her where her hair is, she puts her hand up and rubs it all over her head. Then she starts laughing hysterically.

She has figured out that our house goes in a circle. We are trying really hard to teach her to stay on the carpet, but I fear it is a losing battle. We don't have a play yard anymore because the Christmas tree is in it. I'm afraid of what will happen when we try to restrict her again after the holidays. I'm foreseeing a few tantrums!

Her favorite book right now is "The Wheels on the Bus." She brings it to me to read/sing over and over and over again. I actually hid it this morning after the 5th time I read it. Don't worry, I'll give it back, eventually.

I was practicing my flute this morning and she was quite interested - so much that she wouldn't leave me alone. I really need to practice a piece that I'll be playing Christmas Eve at church. Anyway, I stopped and started playing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and she got so excited I thought she might explode.

I've also been playing Christmas Carols in the piano more with her and she loves the music. I'm so happy she enjoys it and reacts. Too bad I can't do any serious practicing anymore!

Sprout is practicing passive resistance. I mentioned before that we are trying to keep her on the carpet. Well, when I hear her on the hard wood floor and go get her, I usually say, "Sprout where are you?" She immediately splats herself on the floor. Face first, sprawled out on the ground and gives me this look like "gee I wonder how I got here!"

Her molars are starting to poke through, but not enough to give her any real relief. Cold + teething + diaper rash = a lot of crying in this house this week!

She has a farm animal puzzle and I have started to ask her to bring me certain pieces - and she does! I can't believe she understands so much. It's kind of scary. And now when I do it with her toys and books, it's the same. She know what things are called. Better watch what we say around that little girl.

Things I Don't Want to Forget

When we were putting on her coat, we were trying to explain that we need to put on her coat because it's cold outside. So now, every time she puts on her coat, she says "cooooooold" with the appropriate quiver in her voice. She often adds "brrrrrrrr!" Cutest thing ever and she has cracked up plenty of people in parking lots.

She loves all the trees and lights everywhere we go. Our tree is behind a gate, but she likes to hang out and stare at it. Yesterday, she recognized an ornament the shape of a cat on my mom's tree, and immediately pointed and said "at! at!" She's brilliant, I tell you ;)

I've been pointing to body parts and saying names forever and I'm pretty sure she understands most of them, but has never said the words herself. What's the first one she picks to say? "Eye" And she insists on sticking her finger in her eye and then gets the funniest expression on her face as she is trying to point, but not poke her eye, but she still wants to see. Too funny.

To add to her animal repertoire, when she sees the pig piece in her puzzle, she tries to say "oink, oink!" but really just gets the "K" part with lots of huffing and puffing and bouncing up and down.

After learning "cookie" last week, on Saturday, I was carrying her down the stairs and I said, let's go see daddy!" Her response was, "Da-da, da-da! Coo-kie! Coo-kie!"

This hilarious girl is keeping me on my toes. I'm having so much fun with her!

Things I Don't Want to Forget

Sprout is an amazing little girl and she keeps growing and learning. I really can't believe my eyes sometimes. Do you see that little girl in those pictures heading out to church on Sunday morning? It's hard to believe that's my baby!

She is walking everywhere and gets steadier and more confident every day.

She stood up from sitting for the first time yesterday without pulling up on anything.

She loves leaves. She walked around the yard for the longest time this week just picking them up and stuffing them into one hand and then getting frustrated when there were too many and she couldn't hold any more.

New words: cookie (thank DH for that one), shoe, sock, dad, off. She also answers, "uff uff" when you ask her what a doggy says and she said "oooo, oooo" every time she turned to the owl page in The Very Busy Spider. "ka" is duck and she recognizes them in all sorts of books and pictures. "dul" is candle. She learned that one when we lit the first Advent candle on Sunday.

We went to visit DH's office and there is a giraffe painted on the wall as you enter the building. She got very excited when we went in, ran up to it and yelled, "affe! affe!" She's brilliant, I tell you.

She loves walking around the house carrying the bucket part of her shape sorter. I call her the Easter Sprout because she looks like she's hiding Easter eggs as she scatters the shapes about and then picks them up and puts them back in - along with whatever else strikes her fancy. Yesterday she stole my iPhone. I couldn't find it anywhere until I looked in her basket. Little thief :). She also had a pair of socks in there and a puzzle piece. She also likes taking out the shapes one by one and showing them to me so that I can name them. But she hasn't tried to say any of the names herself yet.

We were in Target and I picked up some Earth's Best graham crackers. I put them in the cart. She turned around and pointed and started saying "cookie." Then she got mad and tried to demand one. Oh boy. We're heading into toddler temper tantrum times! Luckily she was distracted pretty well by a toy.

Speaking of tantrums, we had a similar moment today when I took out sour cream for dinner tonight. It looked too much like yogurt, apparently, because she started pointing and yelling, "gu, gu." And I didn't even know she knew yogurt. Anyway, we ended up having to take our sour cream and put the container away so that she would eat her dinner. I'm not sure what she would have done if I had given her a big spoonful of the stuff. Maybe I should have tried.

She likes to play Hide-and-seek. Well, basically, she walks around the couch or chair and you say, "Where's Sprout?" Then, she reappears and you are sooo surprised and she just cracks up in giggles. It's a very fun game for everyone.

Her hair is getting longer. I try to keep bows in it, but it's tough because she inherited my thin, wispy hair, so they tend to fall out. I hope I can find some to work because otherwise, I'm going to have to cut it to keep it out of her face and I don't really want to do that!

Sprout had a fabulous Thanksgiving and enjoyed seeing her grandparents and showing off her newest skills for everyone. She is a charmer, for sure.

As you can see, it's been a busy week!

Things I don't want to forget

So this week I'm early. Who would have guessed. Sprout is asleep and our amazing new cleaning lady is at work, so I'm here trying to stay out of her way.

Sprout has been busy.

She is walking everywhere. She no longer wants to be carried. Shew wants to do it herself. This resulted in our first full-fledged in-public tantrum yesterday when I thought I'd just run into the store really quickly to grab one thing. Oops.

She repeated the alphabet after me today. Okay, a lot of the letters were not recognizable, but a lot of them were. She is trying to say all the sounds and I love it.

New "words" : "ka" for duck, "off," "no-no" (not terribly excited about this one), "go"

We got her new good walking shoes at the Stride Rite outlet yesterday. I love them and she

likes them, too.

I try to put bows in her hair, but she unfortunately inherited my thin wispy hair and I just can't get them to stay in very well. When they do, they are so cute, though! I was never into the headbands, so it's fun to finally get to play with my little girl's hair. I'll have to figure out something soon since her hair going to be in her eyes before long.

She is now attached to her lovey. She didn't care about it for a year, but now it is an absolute necessity. Luckily, she's not yet picky about which lovey she has, but she wants it. And usually it takes some time to get her to let it go after a nap or waking up in the morning.

I moved the camera for our video monitor and adjusted it so that I could see her in the whole crib. She still manages to squirm herself all the way into a corner so that I can only see her body and not her head. If I point the camera at that corner, she squirms to the opposite one. She knows where it is and she does not like to be watched!

We took her to a cafeteria style restaurant on Monday and fed her off of our plates. She liked the chicken and the beef and the green beans, but what did she really love? Mushrooms. Strange kid.

I can't wait to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and see her enjoy Thanksgiving dinner for the first time, since she was too young to participate last year. I hope she cooperates!

Things I don't want to forget

Sprout is toddling everywhere now. It is so amazing to me. She's a full fledged walker now. It still surprises me when she comes around the corner and she's walking. And she looks so tall to me - I guess because I'm seeing her standing up so much more!

She is trying to say more words, mostly imitating what we are saying. She says, "affe" for "giraffe" and "goggy" for "doggy." "At" is "cat" or "light" depending on the context. She's very fond of "up" and still says "buh" for "book" all the time. She is starting to get some of the animal names in her animal books, but she's not consistent yet. I love it when she just tries to repeat whatever I say to her.

She is still not napping well and it's starting to drive me crazy, especially since she's still getting up at 5:30 since the daylight savings time shift. We just put her to bed early yesterday because she was so tired and cranky and we couldn't take it any more. I hope she starts taking her naps soon!

We had family portraits taken this week. It's still hard for me to believe we've come so far as a family and when I look at them and see this amazing little girl with so much personality, I am just in awe.

She is becoming a toddler in lots of ways - one of which is that she has become very demanding. I can't have anything on the table that I don't want her to have. She'll point and have a meltdown if I won't give it to her. Yay for the beginnings of tantrums! Better stock up on the ibuprofen.

Yet, there's not anything that can melt your heart quite like a little girl walking wobbly to you with her arms open for a hug, saying "mama" with a big smile. Yeah, that's what I signed up for. It makes the tough times a lot easier.

But it's Natural!

So, I've been thinking about something for awhile now. I read a lot of people who make a lot of decisions and judgements about motherhood based on what they consider "natural."

Before I go on, I'll point out that I am a breastfeeding (well was until recently), cloth-diapering, baby-wearing mom. I don't necessarily have anything against particular decisions people make, just the idea that what they are doing must be "right" because it's "natural" or "it's the way it's been done for thousands of years."

People justify their decisions by referencing parenting practices in developing countries. I guess they feel that since these countries haven't been corrupted by the medical community or the other entrapments of development, they must be better in some way.

I lived in a developing country for nearly 3 years. I really got to know a lot about the people and the culture there. And in the end, there were beautiful wonderful things that I will carry with me always and that I hope will be a part of my life and my mothering. And there were other things that were frightening and that I rejected with every fiber of my being.

I think baby-wearing is great, because it makes my baby happy and allows me to do things more freely - not because the women in Malawi do it. You see, in that culture, a mother must be with her baby every moment of every day until the child is weaned, and even then she is soley responsible for childcare. She wears the baby because she has little choice. She must care for the baby while still maintaining her household, cooking and cleaning and tending the garden. It certainly bonds her to the baby, but sometimes it is not a choice that she makes.

I chose to breastfeed because I know it was healthy for my baby and I hoped for a special bonding experience. But there are many women in the world that have no choice. When I was struggling with breastfeeding, I often thought about those women. If they had supply issues or couldn't get their babies to latch, it was a life-or-death situation.

And women gave birth at home or at a local clinic tended by a midwife. There is something wonderful about that and I don't think badly of anyone who chooses a home birth or a midwife, but when their reasons are "women all over the world do it this way," I do raise my eyebrows. Probably because I saw just how many babies didn't survive in one of those places. I also knew a woman in my village who died in childbirth. We are so lucky to have options and back-up plans. It's not like that "all over the world."

I guess the point of all of this is to say that I feel so very blessed to live in a place where we have so many options and choices. I just think that sometimes we forget that they are just that - choices. In the West, sometimes, we have a tendency to romanticize village life and think about it like some really great, extended camping trip. I loved my time in Africa. I took with me many lessons that make me a better mom. I became aware of more options and ways of doing things. But I never took for granted that the way things were done there were "right." Perhaps because I didn't just see a documentary. I lived there and I got to see the beautiful parts of the culture, but also the ugly parts.

There are many days that I long for the simplicity of village life and miss the amazing community of women that surrounded me there. I wish I could take that spirit and infuse it into my community here. But I am also so thankful for all of the opportunities and choices that I have for myself and will be able to provide for my daughter. It's wonderful to look for ideas and take things from other peoples and cultures, but when we fail to see the big picture, we make them into charicatures. We forget their daily struggles and the obstacles they face to simply access basic health care and education. We dismiss our responsibility to help the women in those parts of the world have those same choices we often take for granted.

Girls' weekend in Las Vegas

So, I said I'd write about my weekend away in Las Vegas. I met up with my three favorite college girlfriends. We have scattered about the country, and don't talk nearly as often as we wish we did, but we're still close friends and make an effort to visit when we can. This was the first time in several years that all four of us had been in the same place, though. I hope we can make it a tradition!

It was so nice to get away and not worry about the obligations of home and baby. It was nice to not worry about pumping at all or or breastfeeding and, best of all, not be on any kind of schedule. We just wandered and decided on a whim where to go and what to do. Between jet lag and mommy hood, we weren't night owls, but we chatted into the night and slept in (for us, anyway). We took our time and did things for ourselves.

On Saturday morning, I checked FaceBook from my phone. DH's status: "Mommies - they do more before 10am than most people do all day." I hope that he has a better understanding of what I do in a day and why I don't keep the house in better shape. He seems to be more appreciative. Of course, since then he's been whining about needing some time off himself, so I'm not really sure the message sunk in as well as I'd hoped.

I do know that he needs time away, too, don't get me wrong. I just feel like sometimes he gets away all the time, but it doesn't "count" whereas anytime I leave him with the baby, he tries to consider it free time, even if I'm going grocery shopping. *sigh* He means well, but I have a feeling that there is much more negotiating in our future! I am enjoying the extra measure of respect he seems to have for my day to day activities, though.

So, I highly recommend a weekend away without husband or baby. Or even just a night - whatever you can manage. It did wonders for me and despite my reservations, I think it was really good for my marriage, too.

Things I Don't Want to Forget

The picture is from the Teddy Bear Picnic that our city held downtown yesterday. It was a lot of fun. We had lunch and listened to stories. Sprout was one of the youngest ones there, but she had fun, especially, "Going on a Bear Hunt."

Sprout is a walker, for sure! In less than a week, she went from a few wobbly steps to toddling across the room. As DH says, we're proud and petrified!

She has mastered the surprised face. She opens her mouth wide and gasps with her eyes wide open. It is so funny. Then, when we start laughing, she cracks up, too.

She has started really imitating sounds now. Before, she just did her own thing, but now, you can change from "mooooo" to "mama" to "aaaaaaah" and she follows right along. And if you do a sounds she doesn't know how to make, she just stares at you like you're from outer space.

She has become such a silly little girl. I never would have expected it, since she was such a serious baby for so long, but she is a real goof these days and it's so much fun. She really keeps us laughing. She makes funny faces and noises and loves to laugh and play games. She brings us such joy!

Yet, she still loves to rock with me when it's time for sleep. We snuggle up and just rock for awhile until she's calm and ready for her nap or bedtime. I can't help but smile and gush when she's just starting to drift off. Such a beautiful moment.

She is starting to figure out the shape sorter. She's a long way from getting the right shapes in the right holes, but she's actually trying to do it, now, which is fun. And she likes to just sit and take the shapes out and put them inside the lid and then put them back in. I'm not sure what she's thinking and trying to figure out, but I sure would like to know what's going on in that brain of hers.

She knows more words than we think. She only really says "buh" (book), "up," and "mama" consistently, but she understands a lot more. Last night I just told her we should dance and she started dancing. I was surprised that she just recognized the word without all the silly things I usually do when I want her to dance with me.

She knows where noses are, but won't point to her own, or let me touch it, either. She'll touch everyone else's, though! She knows where her ears and toes are, too. She used to know where her mouth is, but she seems to have forgotten that one for now. We've been singing a lot of "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." She loves it and tries to follow along as best she can. She's got the "toes" part!

Speaking of toes, when you pull off her socks, she wiggles her toes and smiles like she's seeing her long lost friends. Too cute!

Operation Weaning Sprout

So here's my post about weaning. I don't know what else to say except, "she's weaned." We took things slowly for about 6 weeks. I dropped one feeding at a time and replaced it with a sippy cup of milk. The first morning feeding was the last to go. I nursed her on Thursday morning while lying in bed. We snuggled and I stroked her hair and told her how much it all meant to me and how I was going to miss it. She just nursed. We switched sides and I told her all over again.

I marveled at how beautiful she is, how much she has grown and developed into a little girl. I thought about those days when I had blisters on my nipples and cried through every feeding and how my stubborn streak was the only thing that kept us going. I wondered if weaning now was the right thing to do, but I knew that it felt right.

I'm so glad that I stuck it out and got to experience the pleasant, happy side of BFing. And I'm glad that we ended on a high note. It was hard, but so worth it. It feels a little strange because, although it is such a big milestone to me, it really doesn't feel like much has changed. Our days are just about the same. We did that on purpose so that the transition would be easy for both of us, and it was successful, but like so many things, it's a little anticlimactic. Kind of like the last day of school. The kids leave and you're just sitting there with a pile of paperwork. You're happy and relieved, but you still have to get on with things.

I have had no engorgement or discomfort at all, which is nice, but a little strange, since I was expecting it.

To be fair, I left Friday morning for Las Vegas. It was the perfect way to celebrate and reward myself for a year of Breastfeeding. I got a weekend for just me. No husband, no baby, just my college girlfriends and a carry on bag. I'll talk more about the trip later, but I think that weaning right before I left was perfect because I didn't have to be the one to give her that cup of milk instead of nursing her for the first couple of days. And I really needed the time to myself.

So, we did it. I nursed Sprout for over a year. I'm proud and relieved. And I'm a little sad, because my baby girl isn't a baby anymore. I guess all those mommas know what they are talking about when they say that it all goes by so fast.

Things I don't want to forget

Yeah, so I'm late. Life has been a little crazy and I traveled this weekend (more on that later), so I got a little behind. It was an exciting week, though!

For Halloween, Sprout wore her farm-girl/Holly Hobby dress again. She had a plain pinafore to wear with it. On Friday night,we went to visit her daddy since he had to work. Then she helped me pass out candy to the gazillion Trick-or-Treaters we had come through. She almost choked on a Tootsie Roll. Then on Saturday, we drove to a nearby town so that her dad could actually take her Trick-or-Treating to a few houses, since they were celebrating on Saturday night. He had fun. Sprout didn't care at all.

Then, on Wednesday, Sprout took her first steps! Her dad started a game where she stands up and kind of falls into him and he throws himself backward like she pushed him down. She thinks it's hilarious, so I've been doing it with her, too. I started putting her further back and all of a sudden, she took some steps to get to me! She stood by herself and then took steps. I couldn't believe it! Since then, she's been stepping more and more. It won't be long before she's walking nonstop, I predict. I was so happy she did it before I was gone for the weekend. I was so worried she was going to walk for the first time when I was away!

On Thursday, Sprout nursed for the last time. We were down to one feeding and since I was leaving the next day, it was a logical time to end. I'm actually pretty okay about it, even though I am a little sad. My baby isn't a baby anymore and I will definitely miss that special time with her. But it was time and she hasn't skipped a beat.

There is lots more to say and write, but I think that's enough for now. It's been an exciting week for us!

Things I don't want to forget

Helping DH pick out the monthly pictures to put in a collage nand looking at a picture of her on the day of her birth next to a picture with her head turned the same way last week. I got all teary. My how much changes in a year!

Sprout doesn't want to be held most of the time. As soon as she can, she wants down! She wants to crawl or walk holding on to one (not both!) hands. She's gonna take off one day soon and we won't be able to stop her.

She wants to drink out of a cup. Not a sippy cup, not with a straw, but just like the big people do. So I started giving her a cup with a little bit of water in it. She has actually been doing surprisingly well. I found one of her sippy cups that has handles and that makes it a little easier for her, but she does well with a plain cup, too. She even drank out of a glass. She still takes her milk from a straw sippy, but pretty soon, I'm not sure if she'll even need that!

I've officially dropped her bedtime nursing session. I still have really mixed emotions about it, but we're both doing well. Now we're down to only nursing first thing in the morning and that one will drop next week, probably. I'm really sad that this time is ending, but it is rather liberating, too. And Sprout hasn't missed a beat. She's ready to drink and eat like a big girl now, so who am I to stop her?!

She finally caught on that I was trying to show her how to blow. Of course, she's a week too late for candles, but it's still cute and she looooves it when anything blows on her face. In our hotel room last weekend, she just stood over the air conditioner letting it blow her. Too funny.

She rode her first rides at a theme park last weekend - a little boat ride with daddy and a carousel with both of us. She loved both of them. Mostly, though, she loved this little snail that was in a playground area (see picture above). Silly girl.

I bought her new shoes. Size 4! She's probably about a 3.5 now, but good luck finding that in baby shoes.

Her 12 month sleepers are getting too small. We're going to have to jump to 18 months soon. Luckily, all the other 12 month clothes still fit.

Little girl is growing so fast! We're excited about Halloween this weekend. She'll get to wear her Farm Dress again. No Trick-or-Treating, but we'll sit out with the neighbors and give out candy.

One year check-up, travel, and weaning

No, I haven't gone missing. Things have just been crazy around here.

Sprout had her 1 year check up and she's doing great. She weighed 20.4 pounds (39th percentile) and was 30.75 inches tall (91st percentile). Still long and lean, but no worries about her weight gain. She was trooper with her shots and charmed everyone, as always. Unfortunately, we think that she picked up a tummy bug at the doctor's office.

We headed out for a fun weekend at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia where Sprout rode her first amusement park ride with her daddy. Pictures to follow soon. In the car on the way up she started vomiting. And had diarrhea. It was ugly. Luckily, by Saturday morning she seemed to be feeling much better. We thought we might have to buy her more clothes since I had only brought three extra outfits! It turned out to be a fun time with perfect weather. Grandma (my mom) came a long so that DH and I could have a date night and go back to the park to enjoy their scary Halloween activities. We were thankful, for sure.

We're down to 1 or 2 nursing sessions a day. I say "1 or 2" because I'm a wimp. I had decided to drop the bedtime feeding, but since Sprout has been a fussy mess the last few days (in addition to her illness, she's got a molar ready to pop through) and she was asking to nurse last night, I just couldn't refuse. So she's had a cup at night once. She's fine and once she's back to herself, it won't be a problem for her, but I'm a little emotional about the end of breastfeeding. I was planning to be weaned by my LasVegas trip in less than 2 weeks, but I'm not sure if it will happen. No big deal if it doesn't, but I'll have to pump, which will kind of stink. I know we're both ready and that she'll be find once she's weaned. It's just that I'm having a hard time letting go. It continues to baffle me how quickly she is growing up.

Birthday Party Pictures!

Things I don't want to forget - Birthday Edition

My baby girl is now a year old. I am still in shock and thinking constantly about how much things have changed in the last year. And remembering how blessed I am to have such a beautiful, amazing little girl.

We started a birthday tradition that DH and I would separately each buy Sprout a book for her birthday and write an inscription in it. We'd like to do this every year. This year, I got her I Love You, Little One by Nancy Tafuri. DH got her Daddy's Girl, by Garrison Keeler. Both are board books that she can enjoy now and that we can keep for her. DH also got her a silver bracelet and had it engraved with a special message.

We went out to an Italian restaurant for dinner and, for the first time, we ordered Sprout her own meal (kid's ravioli). She loved it. We came home and had a cupcake with a candle and sang her "Happy Birthday." We were going to give her another present, but she was just too tired, so we'll save the rest for party day on Saturday.

She's a special little girl and I love seeing her grow and learn every day.

Things I don't want to forget

Better late than never, right?

Sprout loves pointing now. Sometimes she's actually trying to communicate and sometimes she just likes to point.

She still enjoys feeding everyone she sees imaginary cheerios.

She decided to start waving again. Now, if I can convince her to clap again, I'll be happy. She just decided that it was sooooo 4 months ago!

She reaches out for me and says, "mama." I melt every.single.time. And even when I know I shouldn't pick her up or take her from her daddy, I just can't help it.

She definitely understands more than we think. Today I directed her to find a book. She did and held it up. Then I told her to read it and she sat down and started turning pages. I was in shock. It's just so amazing to see her understand and interact more and more every day.

She is also testing her boundaries. Literally. She knows she isn't supposed to cross the threshold from the living room to the entryway. She sits right on the edge and just puts her hands across. And of course, when I'm not looking, she starts crawling that way. When I call her name, she just stops, sits down, and looks at me all innocently with those big eyes of hers as if to say, "what, mother?" I'm already onto her!

She is on antibiotics now because her congestion from a cold just wasn't getting better. She seems to be on the mend now. Her weight when we took her into the office was 19 pounds, 2 ounces.

We did a photo shoot today for her one year photos. I'll be posting some after she's officially one.

We had two play dates this week, plus a music class and story time at the library. Sprout's social calendar is getting pretty full! She's doing really well interacting with other babies and I'm glad we're doing these things so that she has those opportunities.

She eats like a horse. And people are constantly amazed that she loves vegetables. She chows down on broccoli like I do chocolate. I'm sure this will change at some point and she'll refuse to eat anything that isn't brown, but for now I'm enjoying the comments at restaurants about what a good eater she is.

Birthday preparations are in full swing. A week from today it will be over. Whoa.

Sprout's birthday is on Wednesday. I can't believe it. I really can't. You hear people talk about how quickly it goes by and I do remember those days when it seemed to drag on and I wondered if I'd ever survive. But it's hard to believe that this time last year my husband and I were enjoying our last weekend as just a couple. And now we're parents of a little girl who is about to turn a year old.

Weight Loss update

It's been slow going the last few weeks. Up and down with travel and my body adjusting to the new exercise routine. I'm finally moving in the right direction again. I lost 2.4 pounds this week, which officially put me over the 30 pound mark. Now, if I can keep going down despite all the birthday treats over the next couple of weeks, I'll be all set!

Adventures in Weaning

I mentioned in a previous post or two that we have begun the weaning process. I still have really mixed feelings about the whole thing and I also think that it's going to take a lot longer than I'd planned, for a few reasons.

I've always had kind of a borderline supply, so I'm nervous about dropping too many feedings before she hits her first birthday because I don't want to have to stop breastfeeding early. This is completely mind thing. I NEED to make it to one year.

I struggled so hard for so long to breastfeed in the beginning. I dealt with six months of awful painful blisters before I finally figured out something that worked to keep them at bay. Since around the 6 month mark, breastfeeding has been a largely positive experience. We've had a few hiccups with pulling and biting and distractability, but generally, it's been wonderful.

The closeness with my little girl is so special. We've finally gotten pretty good at the side-lying thing (just in the last couple of months. I'm not sure how anyone does it with a newborn) and when she lays there and wraps her whole arm around me while she nurses, I just melt.

But it's not all rosy, or I'd keep nursing her until middle school. She nurses 6 times a day. Her nursing sessions have finally shortened, but it's still difficult. I plan outings and shopping trips around where I'll be able to nurse her when it's time. And, I'm tired of wearing plastic cups over my nipples because if I don't I get friction blisters. I need to be able to spend a whole day away and not worry about pumping. And, it's time. I'm ready. Well, I'm ready most of the time.

So, two weeks ago, I dropped a feeding. Then we dropped another one last week. However, I've given in a couple times when she wanted to nurse or forgot when I got her up from a nap and nursed her. So, I am sabotaging my own attempts at weaning, but we're getting there.

Sprout is drinking whole milk from a straw sippy cup now. She won't drink out of a regular sippy cup. Maybe once she realizes what good stuff is in there, she'll make more of an effort. She's a big girl and she can handle it. I may try to drop another feeding or I may hold off a week. I don't want my supply to drop too soon.

In my dream world, I'll be able to hang on to her early morning feeding and her late night feeding for quite some time, while letting the others go. I'm not sure my body will cooperate with that, though. So, we'll just keep taking things one step at a time and see how it goes.

Things I Don't Want to Forget

Yesterday, I helped Sprout up to her push toy as I have on many occasions. Yesterday, she actually walked with it. Fast. All over the living room. Whoa!

She thinks it is great fun to pretend to feed anyone who looks at her. At first she was actually doing it only when she was hungry, but I guess the reactions were so good, that she decided to do it all the time.

She is saying "mama" and "dada" with purpose now. She knows who we are! We've been wondering for a few weeks if she really knew what she was saying, but now it's pretty obvious. Melts my heart to have her reach for me and say "mama." Often "dada" is actually, "dad."

She is also trying to say "book." It sounds more like "buh," but she's definitely talking about her books, because she points at them. We read before every nap and bedtime. She points to her books and says, "buh!" When I've read a couple and it's time for sleep, she protests, "buh, buh, buh! while pointing to her books. I hate telling her, "no," but she would happily read stories all through her nap time if I let her! I love that one of her first words is "book."

I took her to my mom's quilt show over the weekend and all the sewing and quilting ladies loved her like crazy and said how beautiful she was. Mommy was very proud.

We have dropped the lunchtime feeding and switched from formula to whole milk. Sprout takes it all in stride. She hates regular sippy cups, but is doing really well with a straw, so we're just going with it for now. We may try a regular sippy again a little later, or we may just skip it. I'm feeling a little strange about weaning, especially when she clearly wants to nurse and I go offer her a cup instead. Yesterday, I caved and let her breastfeed. If I do that too much, it's only going to make things harder.

She takes off her bib when she's done eating. "Enough!"

Yesterday, I bought a straw hat to make a scarecrow. She was holding it. I put it over her head so that it covered her face and then picked it up and said "boo!" She loves to play peekaboo. Anyway, for the first time, she did it herself! Picked up the hat and then brought it back down with a big smile. She didn't say, "boo," but she was clearly waiting for it. She made several people along the sidewalk laugh out loud as we walked by.

I can't believe she'll be a year old in 2 weeks! How is that possible? A year ago, we didn't even know she was breech and then 2 weeks later, we met our little girl. What an exciting time it was and what an exciting time it is now. She learns new things every day and I am amazed at how much she understands and how she plays and interacts with us so much more. I'm excited to see her grow into a little girl, but I'll always remember and miss my itty bitty baby.

Dropped off the planet?

Well, not quite, but life got crazy, and it still feels that way! We spent a week traveling and then the last week was just full of activity and I was just tired and had no desire to blog. Today is a whirlwind. We had our first Kindermusik class this morning and I'm leaving Sprout with a babysitter besides my mother for the first time tonight so that DH can go to his meeting and I don't have to miss my church class. I'm super nervous, but she will be in very good hands.

Here are some short updates. I hope to elaborate on some of them soon.

1.) Sprout stood by herself again, but did it by accident (wanted to hold a toy with both hands) and didn't realize she was doing anything special. She's had no desire to do it since.

2.) We had a great vacation, even though much of the time Sprout and I spent going it alone while DH attended his seminar. We had a blast. She loved the museums and the zoo and especially the aquarium. A juvenile sea lion even tried to play with her (see above picture). Experiencing these things with her was really special.

3.) She's sporting two new bottom teeth. They've cut through, but aren't quite in yet. She decided to cut them while on vacation. Fun times. It might have been better that way, actually because there was so much going on to distract her.

4.) We've begun the weaning process. I hope I get the chance to do a separate post about this because I've got so many conflicting thoughts and emotions. I'm ready, but I'm not, but I know it's time, so we've officially dropped two feedings now and she's doing well. We'll drop another next week. Maybe. If I can do it :)

5.) Sprout has a death wish. She's fallen off a bed (totally DH's fault), fallen down the stairs (that one's on me), tried to eat a penny and plenty of other non-food choke hazards. I used to silently judge people who let stuff like that happen to babies. Ummm, yeah, now I get it. How she went from barely crawling to qualifying for the 40 yard dash, I don't know, but we have some definitely cleaning, reorganizing and additional childproofing to finish. More on this later. In the meantime, we are incredibly grateful to her guardian angel.

6.) She crawls like crazy, pulls up, cruises, and is officially "into everything." Here's something else I didn't understand before I was a mom of an almost-toddler. I just thought it was something parents said. No, it's quite literal. She is really into everything she can be.

7.) We are planning her first birthday party. I can't believe it. She's going to be a year old on October 13. How is that possible? We're doing a farm theme. I sent out invitations today and am having a lot of fun planning.

Okay, gotta go get dinner ready so that I really can go to my class tonight!

Things I don't want to forget

So, I'm failing at the 30 day blog challenge and we're leaving town tomorrow, so it's only downhill from here, but maybe it at least inspired me to be a bit more active! Maybe I'll do 30 posts in 60 days instead?

Anyway, Sprout has been busy, as usual:

1. She is cruisin' crazy. She is moving all over and up into everything. No turning your back for a second.

2. She managed to empty the buffet cabinet where I keep all my table linens today. That little girl is quick!

3. This morning, she reached out just to give her daddy a hug. Sweetest thing ever.

4. Looks like she's popping another tooth. Just in time to hop on an airplane tomorrow. Wish us luck!

5. She has decided that it is fun to smear food all in her hair. This makes meal time clean-up quite a challenge.

6. We're starting to plan a birthday party. I really can't believe it! She will be 11 months old next week. She's looking so grown up.

7. I am so amazed when I look at her sometimes. She seems so knowing. She understands things. She has such personality. I wonder what she's thinking all the time. She just studies things so carefully all the time. Looking them over, turning them around. I love seeing her explore and learn.

Uh oh! She's singing into the monitor now. I guess that means it's lunch time. Better get the garden hose ready.

Sleep

Okay, so I know I got off easy. Don't throw anything at me. I have a baby who slept through the night really early with only a few hiccups. I am incredibly grateful for this. I know how lucky I am and it's one of the reasons I'm really scared to start trying for baby #2. I figure there's pretty much zero chance we'll be so lucky again.

However, I still think it's completely unfair that last night, Sprout woke up pretty much every hour. Started crying - just long enough to wake her mother out of a nice, sleep, get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Then she zonked back out, but I was wide awake. After the second time, I couldn't go back to sleep. Sprout was sleeping. I was awake. So unfair.

So I'm dragging today, but at least Sprout is in a good mood. She's playing with her books while I blog and sip a caffeinated beverage. We both napped a bit this morning, but not nearly enough.

And, lack of sleep is seriously bad for the diet. You want to eat more, you crave bad things, and your willpower diminishes. It's a recipe for disaster. Or in my case a trip to McDonald's. Oops. I haven't even wanted a burger in weeks, maybe months, but today I had to have one. And fries. Oh well. Let's hope for better sleep tonight so that I don't blow it completely before we even leave on our vacation!

Play Date

So, I actually managed to invite someone over for a play date today. I met her and her son at a local group for cloth diapering moms that just started. Her son is 3 days older than Sprout, so we hit it off right away. She friended me on FaceBook the next day. We did the usual "we should get together sometime" thing and then never followed through. Finally, after accidentally stealing her wipes case (it looked just like mine) at our last meeting and seeing her frequent posts about how lonely she was after her husband's deployment, I figured I had my chance, so I invited her.

So funny how much it really is like dating. What if she doesn't want to come? What if she only pretended to like me? Then she accepted, "yay!" What if she hates my house? What if she judges me? What if we can't find anything to talk about? What if Sprout whacks her son over the head with a book?

I needn't have worried. The kids were great. We had a nice time and kids help to keep conversation going. It was so nice to have some adult interaction and maybe start making a new friend. She said she'd like to do it again and I'm going to try to convince myself that she really meant it. When we get back from our vacation (we leave next week) I'm going to invite her over again. And we'll see how it goes.

Things I don't want to forget

1. Sprout stood by herself today! It was only about 5 seconds, but she seemed pretty solid, so I let go and she just stood there. Finally she plopped down on her bottom, but she was definitely standing.

2. We think she is trying to say "dog." It figures that would be her first word. I'm not 100% committed to calling it, but she pretty consistently says "da" and when she sees the dog and gets really excited.

3. She loves The Very Busy Spider by Eric Carle. I often choose two books and let her pick the one she wants to read. Today, she started laughing as soon as I started pulling it off the shelf. She loves the silly animal noises, I think.

4. She also loves any book with baby faces or real pictures in it. It is so cute when she turns a page and just laughs at the baby with the basket on his head or in the bathtub.

5. Sprout loves it when daddy carries her on his back in the Ergo carrier. And DH loves the extra attention he gets with her. Baby carriers/baby wearing are definitely not the norm where we live. It's nice for me to be baby free when we're together, too, so it's a win for everyone!

6. Grandma (my mom) made Sprout the most adorable pinafore dress. I didn't get a good picture because it was just a fitting, but it is sooooo cute! We were planning on using it for her birthday, and making themed pinafores out of birthday, Halloween, and thanksgiving fabric. But after seeing her in it with a plain pinafore (dark red tiny checked fabric for the dress and a cream colored pinafore), I think we have a Halloween costume, too! My mom is going to make her a bonnet to go with it. I can't wait to post a picture. Serious cuteness.

Nurture Shock

Nurture Shock: New Thinking about Children

by Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman

I started reading this book awhile ago, but I finally finished it this week. It is basically an analysis of some of the latest research about issues involved in raising and educating children. It is fascinating to read about all of the different scientific studies that often point to results drastically different than we might expect. A few tidbits:

1. Children who are constantly told that they are "smart" are less likely to excel. Since they believe that they achieved things easily because they were smart, when they are challenged, they are more likely to give up.

2. Children do not learn tolerance or acceptance just because they are put in heterogeneous situations or exposed to children of different backgrounds and races. Parents and other caregivers need to explicitly talk to their children about race if they want their kids to learn that message.

3. In adolescence, kids who argue with their parents actually rate their relationships better than kids who don't argue. Arguing can be constructive because it is seen that a parent respects the child enough to engage and listen. (Please remind me of this when Sprout turns 12).

4. There was a stronger correlation between educational television and relational aggression in pre-school kids (bossiness, name calling, refusing to let someone play, etc.), than there was a correlation between violent television and physical aggression.

5. In encouraging language development in babies and toddlers, it's way more important to respond when your baby makes sounds than it is to expose them constantly to more words.

I could go on all day and I encourage you to read the whole book. I feel like I will think about things differently after reading it and, in my opinion, that's a sign of a good read. I may not agree with every conclusion, but it has given DH and I some definite food for thought and I think I'll be re-reading a few chapters as Sprout grows up.

If you do read it, hop by and let me know what you think.

Weight Loss update

So, things weren't going well for a couple of weeks and I was getting discouraged, especially since I was really getting going with exercise and felt like I didn't have much to show for it. Well, it seems that I've turned a corner! I lost 4 pounds this week. I have now lost over 25 pounds. I have quite a way to go still, but I'm feeling better about things, for sure. It's been a little tough for me lately, so I'm glad to see something positive happen!

Baby Super Powers

Sophia has some amazing super powers. Here are just a few:

1. Her amazing super-human vision allows her to quickly find the tiniest speck of plastic/paper/food left on an otherwise clean floor.

2. Her body is magnetically drawn to the most dangerous thing in any room.

3. Her super-speed allows her to get to the tiny specks and objects of danger way before her parents (who are watching her) are able to intervene.

4. She can read minds. She knows exactly how far she can push the envelope when refusing to nap or protesting whatever injustice has occurred. She then knows the moment to stop and smile and hug her mommy so that she won't lose her mind. Seriously, one second more, and that would be it.

5. She has begun performing Jedi mind tricks. She just looks at you all sweet, but it's a trick. She grabs one finger (awwwww) and then the other hand and then, bam! She pulls up and she's got you stuck. It's time to walk.

6. She somehow takes the small amount of food she eats and converts it into 3-4 very full diapers daily. Scientists need to study this phenomenon for sure. It may solve the energy crisis.

7. Speaking of poop, we just learned this morning that her poo is a great moisturizer. (At least that's what we're telling ourselves after finding her rolling in it, eating it and getting pretty messy ourselves trying to clean it up.)

There are, of course, many more, but we can't tell all her secrets. And I'm sure she will reveal more as she grows.

What are your babies' super powers?

Visions of a little girl

So, today, as I walked with Sprout around the house in her little pants and long t-shirt, I caught a glimpse of the little girl that she is becoming. I had flashes of her running about the house, running to her daddy when he comes home from work, bringing me a book to read. I thought a lot about having a baby, but I don't know that I've spent a lot of time wondering about having children. It's a whole new world that I'm entering and I'm excited and nervous and wondering if I'm up to the task.

And this morning, DH came home from a long night of overnight call and Sprout looked up from across the room, gave him a huge smile and came barreling over at full crawl-speed. Melts my heart - and I think it put her daddy in a much better mood :)

Things I don't want to forget

1. DH took Sprout outside while it was raining. He stood on the porch and she stretched her hand out to feel the rain. She was in awe. The look of wonderment still makes me all warm and fuzzy.

2. Sprout loves her books. Given the choice between a toy and a book, she almost always picks a book. She sits with it and turns the pages and reads to herself. She has a book of baby faces in the car. We strap her into her car seat and then hand her the book. She always gets a huge grin on her face and then starts laughing when she opens it up to the first page. She loves that book and thinks it's hilarious!

3. DH got an Ergo carrier last week and has been carrying Sprout on his back. She loves it and they are so cute together. The funniest thing is when little kids don't realize he has a baby until he passes by. One kid turned to his mom and said loudly, "That man has a baby in his backpack!" It's really fun and DH loves the attention, though he'd never admit it.

4. Yesterday, Sprout decided that she didn't need her morning nap, so I picked up fussy pants and brought her downstairs. I started playing the piano to burn off my frustration. She immediately quieted and listened. I haven't played much at all in recent years, but I may have to start again if it quiets a fussy little girl!

5. She pulls up on EVERYTHING now. She was really picky for a long time, but now she just wants to stand up - furniture, pant legs, boxes, baskets that she ends up pulling over on top of herself instead, you name it.

6. She still loves to walk with someone holding her hands, but sometimes, she just wants to get down and crawl so she can go wherever she wants. She is officially in the "into everything" stage and it makes me tired! She is currently investigating my stationary box.

7. She is eating mostly table food and finger food now. She loves to eat. For breakfast this morning, she ate 3/4 of a banana, 3 prunes, and a piece of toast.

8. Sprout has figured out that it's fun to feed the dog her food instead of eating it herself. And she knows she's not supposed to do it. She gives me this mischievous grin and then drops something on the floor for the dog. I have a feeling I'm going to see a lot of that grin in the coming years. And we'll have to start putting the dog outside while we feed Sprout.

9. Every day she looks less and less like a baby and more and more like a little girl. It's wonderful and a little sad all at the same time.

Up

Last night, DH and I made sure we got Sophia in bed by 8:00. We'd kind of been stretching her bedtime to closer to 8:30. After some talking this weekend, we decided that we'd all be happier if we went back to 8:00. She's plenty tired, but it makes a jaunt to walk at the mall (which we've beeen trying to do since it's been too hot and humid to walk outside) a little more difficult. However, it does give us a little more time in the evenings, which we both seem to need.

So, last night, she got snuggled into bed and we watched a movie - Up. So sad. I'm not sure if it's good when a movie makes you cry in the first 10 minutes. But it was really sweet and cuddling with DH on the couch was nice, too. We need to do stuff like that more often.

What is so hard?

I wonder that sometimes. Why is being a mom so difficult? Especially now that Sprout is older, there is really very little in my day that is actually that tough. She's feeding well most of the time. Her tears are usually calmed fairly quickly. She sleeps well (knock on wood). And yet, I find myself so overwhelmed sometimes. By what, exactly? It's not hard to do the dishes or play with Sprout or wash the diapers. It's not even that hard to take her out shopping anymore. But it still feels like I'm drowning sometimes and just can't keep up. I wonder how working moms even survive when I'm home all day and can't manage to keep the house clean.

Someone reminded me yesterday that I didn't quit my job to be a housekeeper. I did it to be a mom and I needed to devote myself to that. Okay, that sounds great, but I often feel like I don't do that very well either. Shouldn't I be doing more? Should I be reading more? Playing with different things? Researching new activities? Taking her on more trips? Maybe I'm just in a funk, but I just can't help thinking that I'm continually failing where other moms seem to have it all together and I really can't figure out why.

10 Month Photo Shoot

Reading a story to her giraffe

See ya later, alligator!

Ape Face

We went by DH's office and weighed her last week and it looks like she's about 18 pounds. We didn't make her strip since it wasn't an official weigh in, so it's not super accurate. We tried a photo shoot the same day, but she wasn't into it. Luckily, she was a little happier over the weekend. I can't believe how big she's getting and how she's changing from a baby into a little girl. It's a miracle to watch every day with her.

My Mom

So, growing up, my mom and I didn't get along at all. She was very angry and emotionally abusive at times. However, once she and my father finally divorced, she went on anti-depressants for awhile, lost a bunch of weight, started dating, and found her current husband, she became a different woman. He is an odd bird, for sure, but I'm happy he is in our lives because my mom is so much happier and more agreeable!

Anyway, about 2 years ago, her husband got a job in a nearby city. After 15 years of living across the country from her, she moved to a house that is an hour and a half drive away. I was really nervous. I mean, we'd grown closer over the years, but it's hard to shake all that childhood trauma and being an hour and a half away is a lot different than when we needed a plane ticket to see each other.

I needn't have worried, though. She has been a fabulous grandma. She loves to smock dresses and make things for Sophia. All I have to do is tell her what she needs and she whips it up. In the last month, she made a crib rail teething cover, a dress, mended a wet bag for the diaper pail, and made new curtains for the nursery. We picked out fabric this week for a birthday dress. Well, she is going to make a dress with a pinafore and we are going to change out the pinafore for birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and maybe Christmas. It's going to be adorable!

She visits about once a week, or I go up and see her so she can have some time with Sophia. She may roll her eyes about some of the things that we do, but she never argues or tries to give much advice. She respects our decisions and never tries to undermine or do things she knows we avoid. She says things that bug me fairly often, but nothing terrible, and don't all moms do that? She babysits and she knows Sophia so well, that I really don't worry about her. I'm nervous to have someone else watch her that doesn't know and love her so well. Sometimes I admit to getting a little jealous, wondering if she oooohed and aaaahed over me that much when I was a baby!

I think I also understand things a little better from my childhood. I think she was really doing her best, but was frustrated and depressed. I'm glad I moved away for college and we had some space because I really enjoy our relationship now. She really is a big support to me and it sometimes amazes me. If you'd told me at age 10 or 15 or even 21 that I'd consider my mom one of my closest friends, I would have assumed you knew nothing about me and my mom or were just crazy.

(PS. She also has an Etsy shop. It's under construction, so I'll probably talk about it again in the future, but check out her stuff! http://www.etsy.com/shop/mayflycreations)

PSA From the Good Dr. DH

Most of my readers know that DH is a pediatrician. I got the following text message from him recently:

"Just diagnosed 2 more cases of pertussis. Tell your blog ladies to get their kids vaccinated!"

His practice has seen quite a few kids with pertussis and it's spreading rapidly all over the country. Not only do your kids need the vaccine, but most adults need a booster, too. If you've had a tetanus booster recently, then you are likely in good shape, but otherwise, you should get another dose. The childhood series is 5 shots. Usually, they are done at 2,4,and 6 months (giving about 50% immunity), then again at 18 months and at around 4 years. A child is not considered fully protected until that last shot, so it's even more important that the adults and older kids around them are protected.

So, that's DH's contribution to my blog this week. Isn't it nice that he cares about all your kids, too? :)

Things I don't want to forget

1. This morning, I was going through our normal nap routine. I always read Sprout a story, then turn on her white noise and turn off the light, rock her and sing her a lullaby, and then put her in her crib. Today she was super tired and fell asleep while I was rocking her. Instead of putting her down, I just held her and watched her sleep. I just breathed her in and looked at her beautiful face. I felt her little twitches and sighs and just held her close. I didn't worry about the laundry or the dishes or the blog post I planned to write while she was asleep. I just enjoyed my little girl. She doesn't let me rock her like that anymore. I know these moments will be gone very soon.

2. Her new silly face this week is the "Gorilla Face." She sticks out her bottom lip and breathes kind of heavy. It is Hi-larious.

3. She is loving her finger food. It makes mealtimes pretty messy, though. Today, I've been picking little pieces of shredded chicken out of her hair since lunch. This morning, I caught her purposefully feeding a piece of baked apricot to our dog.

4. She is definitely learning to test her limits. I am seeing the end of baby days and the beginning of toddler-dom and I'm not sure I like it!

5. DH got a new Ergo and has been carrying Sprout on he back this week. She loooves it. I tried it out, too, and it is so much more comfortable than the other carriers we have. Having her on my back is also much more convenient. She even fell asleep in there yesterday.

6. She reads to herself. She flips through books and talks/babbles. I love, love, love it. One of the best ways to calm her down is to read her a story. I really hope she continues to love books throughout her life.

7. We set a date for her birthday party. But I'm still in denial. How can she possibly be old enough for that?

8. She was kissing me today - big slobbery kisses on my face. Disgusting, but adorable. I do love that little girl. She also is learning the art of the "high five."

It truly is amazing to see her learn new things every day. It's a little scary, too, knowing that she's watching everything we do and starting to imitate us.

As you can see, we've been busy and I'm falling off the blog challenge wagon. I hope I still get credit if I do 2 posts in one day:) I won't have to if I manage to post over the weekend every day. We'll see how that goes!

Exercise Sucess!

I arrived this morning at the YMCA childcare room and one of the ladies has been there every time I brought Sprout. She said that the other lady doesn't have any kids and is really a nervous type. She asked me if I wanted them to let her fuss and cry a little more to see if she would settle down. I was on board with that plan since she was perfectly happy until we walked into the room. She just didn't want me to leave. Little bugger.

The cycling room is right next to the daycare, and I got there and realized I'd forgotten my water bottle. A nice guy from the class went into get it for me so that I didn't have to go in and get her all upset again. She settled in pretty well. The lady said that she was fine most of the time. She had a poopy diaper and every now and then she'd slow down and think about things and fuss a little (she missed her mama!), but was otherwise fine.

So I made it through a cycling class. And I managed to keep up the whole time, too. Yay! Now, the challenge is to stay motivated and hope Sprout continues to cooperate.

YMCA fail

Sprout decided once again that she didn't like the childcare folks at the Y. She did so well the first couple of days we went, but the last two days have been disasters. DH is off tomorrow, so we're planning to take her swimming instead. We'll try the childcare again on Wednesday and maybe I can make it through an entire spin class.

I really want to make this work. I need the exercise and I think it will be good for her, but right now, I'm just a little frustrated. Let's hope she settles in and decides that the nice ladies aren't so bad, even if they aren't mommy.

On another note, I gained half a pound last week. Boo! I was down a pound or two on Friday, but apparently I celebrated a little too much on our big date night. I gotta do better this week. I need to keep moving in the right direction at least.

Girlfriend getaway dilemma

So I have 3 girlfriends from college. We've remained close through the years, despite being scattered about the country. One friend decided that we all needed to get together this year and we all thought it sounded like a great idea and set the ball rolling. Then things got complicated. First, I said I wasn't willing to go without Sprout until at least after her birthday since I'm breastfeeding. So, we set a date a few weeks later. Then, Friend #1 who was organizing it all got pregnant and also has been facing some financial difficulties, so she proposed a more scaled back get-together somewhere cheaper. I was fine with that.

Second girlfriend decides that we MUST go to Vegas and proposes that the rest of us chip in and pay for First friend's hotel as a pre-baby present. No problem. Sounds fun and I can swing the extra cash. Except then I figure out that there are no direct flights from here and it's going to take me 9 hours each way to get to Vegas. For a 3 day weekend, I'll spend 2 days traveling.

So then, we discuss adding an extra day, but I'm really concerned about where I'll be in the weaning process and hate feeling pressured to be done by then, but does it make sense to take a 4 day break? I don't know. I initially planned to be done weaning by her birthday, but I had so many struggles along the way and now it's going so well, so I can see wanting to hang onto a feeding or two for quite some time. I don't want a little getaway to be an influence on that decision.

This is my personal dilemma and doesn't really have to do with anyone else except that girlfriend #2 who decided we had to go to Vegas missed girlfriend #3's wedding shower last year for exactly the same reason - she just didn't want to feel pressure to wean. So it kinda ticks me off that she's the one putting pressure on me to do something she refused to do herself.

So, I'm still planning to go, and I know we'll have a blast, but I'm on the fence about the extra day and I have to research and make sure there aren't any more flight options than I initially found. In the end, I do realize that one extra day probably isn't going to be that big of a deal and I think it's really just hard because I'm having trouble coming to terms with the end of our breastfeeding relationship. I finally enjoy it and suddenly, instead of counting down the days until I can start weaning, I'm sad that we'll be losing some really special moments.

I'm trying

I went to spin class again today. I was still sore from Wednesday, but I went anyway. About halfway through, the childcare folks came to get me because Sprout wouldn't stop fussing. I was glad. I think she could feel my, "I don't think I'm going to make it another half an hour" vibes. I got her in the car and heard her grunting and pooping all the way home. By the time we got there, she felt much better! I'm going to try to make going to the gym part of our daily routine. I hope I enjoy it enough to stick to it.

DH and I are going to a concert tomorrow night. I have to admit that I'm not to excited about it, but we are staying in a hotel for the night and sleeping in on Sunday. I am excited about that. We decided that driving and hour and a half home after a concert was probably not going to be fun. I kind of feel bad that we just left Sophia for a whole weekend and now we're leaving her again, but she doesn't seem to mind, and my mom loves having her, so date night it is!

Things I don't want to forget

Sprout and I have been busy this week!

I never want to forget:

1. Her sour face when she tries a new food. She scrunches up her face so much, you'd think she just sucked on a lemon. Then she promptly eats more. Cracks me up.

2. She was bee-bopping her head imitating her dad this morning. She tries to imitate us all the time - mostly DH.

3. The way she snuggles up and calms down when we sit in our rocker and read a story together.

4. The way she studies things so carefully.

5. How her daddy loves to pick out clothes for her when we go shopping. Lets just say she does not need any more denim jumpers!

6. She learned how to pet the dog instead of grabbing him. It's too cute.

7. The way she waves - just throws her hand up in the air when we say "bye-bye." Sometimes she waves it, sometimes she just looks like she wants to ask to go to the bathroom.

8. Seeing her with her first real pair of shoes.

9. Her new clicking noise. I think she spoke one of those African clicking language in a previous life. She's way more interested in strange sounds than actual language.

10. Her fearlessness and determination- it's inspiring and scary at the same time.

12. Her beautiful grey-blue eyes that look like they might be turning brown with gold flecks around the pupils.

13. The way she reaches for me when she's upset or just wants to be picked up.

Some days are harder than others

I'm not sure why, but yesterday, I really woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I'm sure that it was partially hormonal, but my crabbiness was worse than usual. I was short with Sophia and everything DH did seemed to annoy. Then, my iPhone fell out of my pocket when I went to the bathroom. Yep, plopped into the toilet. I fished it out only to watch it die. It was sad. I officially can no longer tease DH about the time he dropped the hospital pager into the toilet. At least I don't have to go tell my boss about what happened :)

Then, I was writing in my journal last night and just lost it. I was sobbing like crazy. Just feeling like a failure, like I should be able to do better, do more, be a better mom. I'm not a lot better today, but I am a little better, so I guess I just keep trucking.

I did make it to the YMCA this morning. Sprout had a blast in their childcare, but she also had a little foam heart and a piece of paper towel in her mouth when I picked her up, so I'm not sure how closely they were watching her. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt once, probably, because I could see the horror on their faces when I pulled stuff out of her mouth. It looks like they are used to dealing with older kids. Maybe getting out and getting moving will help my general disposition.