I've been having some serious second thoughts about the whole adoption process and whether or not we really want to start down another emotional journey. There is just so much to think about and consider and it's overwhelming. Some of it is related to normal worries about having second children and other anxieties are specific to adoption. I just don't know anymore. It's really hard for me to imagine Sprout as an only child as she grows older, but it's also hard to imagine introducing a new child into the family. I guess this is all part of the discernment process, but it's still really hard and I'm really struggling with the fact that my family is going to look very different than I imagined it would, no matter what road we choose to take.
On a related note, through my research, I've come across embryo adoption as an option I didn't even really understand might exist. It's kind of out there and I don't even know if we'd be good candidates for it or how it would work, but since I've already carried a successful pregnancy... well, I just wonder. But then, how on earth would you talk to a child about that? And is that just too high-tech and strange for our family, anyway?
Ugh. I don't know about any of it anymore. I feel a little stuck and just not sure what path we are to take. So, we're waiting and praying and hoping that the path forward will be made clear.
