It's a Girl!

I have a beautiful, amazing little girl. I want desperately for her to grow up to be confident, intelligent, happy, and generous. I'd want the same things for a boy, I'm certain, but I'm not sure I would have given nearly as much thought to the influence of his surroundings, his toys, his wardrobe. If I have a boy in the future, I will think of these things, for sure. Would I have taken them so seriously if I had a boy first? I'd like to think so, but I'm just not sure.

From the time we learned that our Sprout was female, I felt like I had to take a stand against the proliferation of princesses and pink. I felt the need to buy gender neutral clothes to counteract all the dresses and hearts and bows. I got annoyed that puppies were supposed to be only for boys and that (purposely) gender neutral clothes were non-existant after about 6 months.

So now that she's 19 months old, how is it going? I'm sitting in our living room now, which is Sprout's main play area. There are books, a rocking horse, puzzles, animals, cars, a doll. While it would only take someone a split second to see that a toddler lived here, they'd have to look closer to guess that it's a girl. The biggest clues are a pink blanket with letters of the alphabet and the doll buried in her toy bin. Oh, and her sandals sitting on the end table. That makes me happy.

Maybe I try too hard. Maybe I'm denying her "girl-ness." I figure that she will have a whole life of being bombarded by what society expects of girls and women. When she begs for the princess doll, we'll go there, but why push it on her now? For now, she loves building with blocks. I love seeing her develop her own interests and opinions (though I'm not sure I was quite prepared for her to have opinions!). And I love that her favorite thing to do is to read.

But I also realize that this is only the beginning. The real tests are ahead of us. She doesn't watch TV or go to school. I can protect her now, but I know that she will eventually face all of the stereotypes and mixed messages that our culture has to offer. I hope that I'm able to guide her through them and help her gain the confidence to be herself and be proud of whoever that may be.

A Trip to Target

So, I thought I'd sum up what Sprout is up to these days by talking about our shopping trip yesterday.

As we walked into Target, she was already pointing at things. "Ball" (The big red concrete balls outside), "Circle" (the logo on the front of the store). We got her in the shopping cart and began looking around. She was narrating by pointing out numbers. There are a LOT of numbers that are very visible in Target.

Around the office supply section she began to get bored with that so our conversation went like this:

Sprout: Baby FROG! Baby Frog! Bay-beee Fa-ROG!

Me: What is a baby frog?"

Sprout: Tad-pole!! Bay-beeeee Dog!

Me: What is a baby dog?

Sprout: puppy! Bay-beeee Duck!

And so it continued though duck, cat, goose, and cow, before she went back to pointing out things in the store and numbers.

Around the food section she decided she wanted to sing so she went through quite a bit of her repertoire: Baa Baa Black Sheep, The Alphabet Song, You are my Sunshine, and several others. Then she started counting. She actually will count (with minimal help) to around 50 (which she still insists is 40-10).

By the time we got to the check out she was identifying numbers again and people at the check out kept laughing and asking how old she was. My little girl loves to talk. Everywhere I take her, people tell me how smart she is and I know that it's just because she is so verbal for her age, but I can't help to be proud of my little girl.

My New Life

My how things have changed! I think about this time last year. Sprout was just sitting up. I spent most of my day breastfeeding and trying to convince her to take naps. It seems like I never had time to do anything, but looking back on it I keep trying to figure out what I was doing.

And now, I have a little girl. She was walking around carrying her lunchbox this morning as we were getting ready for Mother's Day Out and I just couldn't believe how big she had gotten and how much of a little person she is. And I've changed a lot, too. I've learned so much about parenting and about myself. I've begun a new adventure in ministry, stepped out and become more involved in all kinds of things.

I'm a different person than I was a year ago. And even more different than I was two years ago, almost halfway through my pregnancy. I've had some rough patches, some therapy, and made some important changes. And now I can honestly say, that I'm really, really happy. Not every day, or every moment, of course. There are plenty of times that I still feel frustrated or overwhelmed or wonder how to juggle all the new projects on my plate, but I'm feeling strangely fulfilled and have a strong feeling that I'm right where I'm supposed to be, doing just what I should be doing. And that is a fabulous feeling - mtendere, peace.

I hope it lasts awhile. God has a funny way of shaking things up, just when you get comfortable, ya know?

Kids and Weddings

So every so often, people I know seem to get into fierce debates about whether children should be at weddings. I have a kind of "do what works for you" attitude about it and don't have strong feelings one way or the other, really, so it surprises me that people feel so strongly about it.

It just comes down to what is most important to you as you plan your wedding. Everyone has different ideas about what will make their day "perfect" or what might ruin it all. Would a child screaming during the ring exchange ruin your whole day? Then don't invite kids! It would have just generated some laughter at my wedding. In fact, the priest closed one of the flower girl's hands into the church door as my wedding was beginning. Poor little 3 year old tried sooooo hard to shake it off, but ultimately went running down the aisle to her mama. To me, it was adorable. To someone else it would have been a disaster (Of course one should not have 3 year old flower girls if this constitutes a disaster).

Is having a big, crazy, dancing, drinking party important to you? Or a super formal sit down affair? Then no, kids aren't a good idea. But if, like us, it was more about having family together and you find kids running around the dance floor and trying to steal toys off the groom's cake just all part of the fun, then invite them all!

I realize that my readers (are there any still out there?) have already had their weddings and made their decisions for themselves, but now that we are parents we have a new perspective. Traveling and finding babysitters creates a whole new set of issues. We've bowed out of several weddings that we may have attended if Sprout had been invited, but to be honest, we were kind of glad to have the excuse. The people we most care about have all wanted her there. If they hadn't we'd have figured something out. I do think it's a nice touch if the couple helps arrange childcare, especially if there are out of town guests, and they need to accept that there are people who won't come if their kids aren't invited.

I'm not sure why I felt like I needed a whole blog post about this, but I was just so surprised about how strongly people seemed to feel about the topic. I don't think it's fair to say, "If you invite me you have to invite my kid," but it's also not fair to say, "kids don't belong at weddings, they are for adults." Every wedding is as different as the couple getting married. That is what makes them fun and special.

Things I Don't Want To Forget

Sprout just keeps growing and learning!

-We had to move the straps on her car seat. She really grew!

- She "reads" so many books now. She knows all the words on every page of some of them, the important words on others. She also just starts reciting them randomly, particularly the Dr. Seuss Books.

-She counts to forty! She gets hung up on things sometimes (like she'll say 20-10 instead of 30), but it's pretty amazing. She obviously doesn't quite understand what all those numbers mean, but it's still pretty cool.

-She still sings and picks up new songs all the time. I love it.

-Her favorite thing to do these days is to go for a walk outside. We walk on the sidewalk and she has favorite driveways that she likes to sit down on and places she likes to pick up rocks. She points out numbers on mailboxes and reads the letters on the stop sign. We do this at least once a day, often 2-3 times.

-She spins in circles squealing "wheeeeeeeee!" Not sure where she picked that up!

-She repeats EVERYTHING we say.

-She talks in phrases and sentences - "sit in the chair," "Off the the bed," "Daddy go to work," and my favorite, "Mommy, read book, please, please."

- When she starts to whine and fuss because we aren't responding, she stops herself and says, "ask nicely." I guess she's learning something! And then she usually does ask nicely, which makes it VERY hard to say, "No!"

She is such a big girl!

Child Care

So, with my new ministry pursuits, we are starting to look into more childcare options. I've been utilizing a "Mom's Morning Out" program at a local church that has been good, but ideally, I'd be able to have a full time day-care one or two days a week. That way, I could focus all my projects outside of home on those days instead of running all around town constantly. But, Mom's Morning Out is convenient and cheap, so that is a consideration. There is also a drop-in childcare center that I've used, but she can only stay there for four hours and I pick her up before nap time. Now that I'm working with schools, I need more freedom during and after school hours. I can work with what I have, but we are checking into some other options in town so that I can at least see what is out there.

I'm a bit torn because I feel like I shouldn't want to send Sprout away. I also know she could get so much out of a structured preschool type program. She's such a little sponge and I know she would love it. Of course, she's way too young for any actual preschool programs, so I feel like actual daycare is the next best thing.

So, we're just exploring right now. We'll see what we find and whether it will work for our family.

Wisdom Teeth

Well, yesterday was fun. I got my three wisdom teeth removed. (I was only born with three, fortunately). One began cutting before my regular dentist appointment 6 months ago, so they decided to wait and watch until my latest cleaning when they decided that it would have to come out because it was creating a food trap that could easily get infected. Ick. So, to the oral surgeon I went, where they convinced me that I should just have them all removed.

So, yesterday was pretty rough and today I'm super sore, but managing. Luckily my husband is home today taking care of Sophia and I. And it's time for me to take another painkiller and go back to sleep.

Update on Me

So, you hopefully read what Sprout was up to in my last post, but I've been up to some pretty interesting things myself.

I started volunteering at my old school, helping out an 8th grade math teacher. I have also started a new outreach ministry at my church to an inner city middle school near the church. We have adopted the school as a "Partner in Education," have organized a clothing and supply drive and are working to get volunteers for End of Grade testing in the next few weeks. We are really seeking to develop a relationship with the school so that we can support them in all sorts of ways.

I began the outreach ministry project as one of the first steps to seeking ordination as a Deacon in the Episcopal Church. In our tradition, a deacon is an ordained minister whose main purpose is to connect the needs of the community, especially the poor, the sick, and the lonely, to the people of the church. It is a call that has been on my heart for a long time. I first considered it several years ago, but I feel strongly that now is the time to really start down the path.

There is a long journey to ordination. The first steps involve a lot of paperwork. I had to meet with my priest several times, develop this ministry, and write a "spiritual autobiography," which was an interesting exercise and I recommend it to anyone seriously thinking about how God might be calling them. Now, with the priests recommendation, I am meeting with a "discernment committee" within my congregation. In a few weeks, they will decide whether to support my call. If they do, they will present it to the church Vestry (like a board or a council).

If the vestry also supports me, I will meet with the bishop of our diocese. If he is supportive, I go through a bunch more paperwork and eventually meet with a special Committee on Ministry in the fall that will make the final recommendation about whether to admit me as a "postulant." After that there are more steps, including classes, and ministry work for at least three years (maybe more if we are blessed with another baby in the process), before ordination.

It's a little complicated, but very exciting to me and something I feel very strongly about. I'd talk more, but my munchkin has decided that today is not a good napping day, so I'd better go give her hugs!

Long overdue Sprout update

So, our Lenten fast is over and Easter was a big celebration. I have to say, being away from the Internet was a good thing overall. Let me fill you in a bit on Sprout.

She is still talking like crazy and expanding her vocabulary daily. On Easter, in church she learned "Alleluia!" and said it loudly again yesterday which was crazy adorable.

She says "I love you!" unprompted now and gives big hugs.

She sings! "Baa Baa Black Sheep," her alphabet, and several songs from her KinderMusik class are her favorites. It is so much fun to hear her singing and try to figure out what song it is.

There is so much more, but those are the biggest things on my mind right now. I've been up to a lot, too, and hopefully I'll have time soon to write about it all. I hope everyone had a joyous Easter and is enjoying the beautiful spring!