Kids and Weddings

So every so often, people I know seem to get into fierce debates about whether children should be at weddings. I have a kind of "do what works for you" attitude about it and don't have strong feelings one way or the other, really, so it surprises me that people feel so strongly about it.

It just comes down to what is most important to you as you plan your wedding. Everyone has different ideas about what will make their day "perfect" or what might ruin it all. Would a child screaming during the ring exchange ruin your whole day? Then don't invite kids! It would have just generated some laughter at my wedding. In fact, the priest closed one of the flower girl's hands into the church door as my wedding was beginning. Poor little 3 year old tried sooooo hard to shake it off, but ultimately went running down the aisle to her mama. To me, it was adorable. To someone else it would have been a disaster (Of course one should not have 3 year old flower girls if this constitutes a disaster).

Is having a big, crazy, dancing, drinking party important to you? Or a super formal sit down affair? Then no, kids aren't a good idea. But if, like us, it was more about having family together and you find kids running around the dance floor and trying to steal toys off the groom's cake just all part of the fun, then invite them all!

I realize that my readers (are there any still out there?) have already had their weddings and made their decisions for themselves, but now that we are parents we have a new perspective. Traveling and finding babysitters creates a whole new set of issues. We've bowed out of several weddings that we may have attended if Sprout had been invited, but to be honest, we were kind of glad to have the excuse. The people we most care about have all wanted her there. If they hadn't we'd have figured something out. I do think it's a nice touch if the couple helps arrange childcare, especially if there are out of town guests, and they need to accept that there are people who won't come if their kids aren't invited.

I'm not sure why I felt like I needed a whole blog post about this, but I was just so surprised about how strongly people seemed to feel about the topic. I don't think it's fair to say, "If you invite me you have to invite my kid," but it's also not fair to say, "kids don't belong at weddings, they are for adults." Every wedding is as different as the couple getting married. That is what makes them fun and special.