I wonder that sometimes. Why is being a mom so difficult? Especially now that Sprout is older, there is really very little in my day that is actually that tough. She's feeding well most of the time. Her tears are usually calmed fairly quickly. She sleeps well (knock on wood). And yet, I find myself so overwhelmed sometimes. By what, exactly? It's not hard to do the dishes or play with Sprout or wash the diapers. It's not even that hard to take her out shopping anymore. But it still feels like I'm drowning sometimes and just can't keep up. I wonder how working moms even survive when I'm home all day and can't manage to keep the house clean.
Someone reminded me yesterday that I didn't quit my job to be a housekeeper. I did it to be a mom and I needed to devote myself to that. Okay, that sounds great, but I often feel like I don't do that very well either. Shouldn't I be doing more? Should I be reading more? Playing with different things? Researching new activities? Taking her on more trips? Maybe I'm just in a funk, but I just can't help thinking that I'm continually failing where other moms seem to have it all together and I really can't figure out why.
3 comments:
I feel the same way. I think we all just put up a facade to make everyone think we have it all together, but nobody actually really does. At least, that's what I tell myself.
I am walking in those same shoes right now - it is my biggest issue, am I actually being a good Mum or am I failing? My hubby and I think I actually have a touch of PND as everything has just been so tough and yet my little one is generally a very good baby... So I am slowly reaching out and opening up to friends, going out more and starting some sort of exercise - hopefully these things will all help lift my spirits.
Hang in there - you're not the only one!
Elizabeth
I get in these ruts too. I think part of it has to do with the constant responsibility of someone elses survival counting on you. Even if it's not "hard" work at the time - it's always there. There's no break in that responsibility for a SAHM. It's weight on your shoulders regardless if you're breaking a sweat.
When I get in a rut I like to take the evening for myself and wander around Borders or Barnes and Nobles and spend an hour or two just looking for a book that peaks my interest at the time. It's relaxing and quiet.
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