I'm happy for the Thanksgiving break, but I feel like we will be so busy that it won't be much of a break. We're having Thanksgiving dinner at my mother in-law's house and staying there on Thanksgiving night. Since I'm due to ovulate sometime in the next few days, I'll be bringing the OPKs. We're both kind of hoping that I won't get the smiley face on Thanksgiving day! I'm not sure what my cycle will be like this month, but so far, things seem to be fairly normal.
I'm just not as "into" TTC right now. I'm still doing everything that I'm supposed to do, I just can't get as excited about it anymore. Maybe I'm tired of the disappointment, maybe it's just the let down after the miscarriage. I'm tired of getting my hopes up over and over again, just to be disappointed. Of course, I'm still hopeful. Wouldn't it be amazing if I got pregnant right before Christmas? What a great gift!
But I'm also beginning to look at my life and the next year and considering the possibility that I might not be pregnant. I've found a couple of jobs and a university nearby and I'm really thinking about applying. I think I'm ready to move on and since there are part time and full-time positions available in the education department, maybe it's something I could do full time for now and part time with kids. I don't know, but I think I may have to at least give it a try.
1 comment:
I dont know, I think its ok that you dont feel "into" TTC right now. Not because you're dissapointed or sad, because those are hard feelings. But because you aren't letting it "take over" your life. I like that you are thinking of applying for some jobs you found. One of my biggest life regrets is the way I have completely put my life on hold for TTC. It wasnt fair to my husband and its not fair to me.
I hope you do get your BFP right before Christmas, that would be wonderful! And if it doesnt happen, I hope you find some comfort. GL!
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