So, I applied for the jobs at the university. I'm still working on getting letters of recommendation together so that I can send in my packet of information, but I submitted the online portion of the application last weekend. I have no idea what my chances are, but I decided that I had to give it a try. My husband has been very supportive. I think he's tired of me stressing out so much about my job.
Of course, as soon as I come to this decision, things have gotten easier at school. Not easy, just easier. With the kids that got sent to alternative school gone, it's amazing the difference in my classroom. I feel like a normal teacher again with normal behavior problems. My mom, who helped a bit in my classroom earlier in the year and then came in again last week noticed the difference, too. Everyone has simply calmed down. It's amazing how 4 kids (out of 110) can make that big a difference. I really am praying that they all get the help and support that they need to turn thing around in their lives and I still think about them and worry about them, but I am so thankful that I can now focus my energy on some of the other kids instead of constantly dealing with their behavior.
Of course, during the same week, I had 2 parents yell at me because I wasn't doing enough for their children, kids and parents upset with me for giving their kids detentions to finish missing assignments (hello! I could have just given them zeros!), and have to start working on personalized education plans for about 25 kids, so there's still plenty of stress to go around.
I'm doing well on the TTC front. Just a waiting game at this point. I did indeed get the smiley face on Thanksgiving. I'm trying not to be obsessive about phantom symptoms, but it's hard. After the miscarriage, I think I want it even more than I did before, which is hard for me to believe. But, I'm trying very hard not to get my hopes up because I know that, after this experience, every new cycle is going to hurt so much more than it did before.
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