Girlfriend getaway dilemma

So I have 3 girlfriends from college. We've remained close through the years, despite being scattered about the country. One friend decided that we all needed to get together this year and we all thought it sounded like a great idea and set the ball rolling. Then things got complicated. First, I said I wasn't willing to go without Sprout until at least after her birthday since I'm breastfeeding. So, we set a date a few weeks later. Then, Friend #1 who was organizing it all got pregnant and also has been facing some financial difficulties, so she proposed a more scaled back get-together somewhere cheaper. I was fine with that.

Second girlfriend decides that we MUST go to Vegas and proposes that the rest of us chip in and pay for First friend's hotel as a pre-baby present. No problem. Sounds fun and I can swing the extra cash. Except then I figure out that there are no direct flights from here and it's going to take me 9 hours each way to get to Vegas. For a 3 day weekend, I'll spend 2 days traveling.

So then, we discuss adding an extra day, but I'm really concerned about where I'll be in the weaning process and hate feeling pressured to be done by then, but does it make sense to take a 4 day break? I don't know. I initially planned to be done weaning by her birthday, but I had so many struggles along the way and now it's going so well, so I can see wanting to hang onto a feeding or two for quite some time. I don't want a little getaway to be an influence on that decision.

This is my personal dilemma and doesn't really have to do with anyone else except that girlfriend #2 who decided we had to go to Vegas missed girlfriend #3's wedding shower last year for exactly the same reason - she just didn't want to feel pressure to wean. So it kinda ticks me off that she's the one putting pressure on me to do something she refused to do herself.

So, I'm still planning to go, and I know we'll have a blast, but I'm on the fence about the extra day and I have to research and make sure there aren't any more flight options than I initially found. In the end, I do realize that one extra day probably isn't going to be that big of a deal and I think it's really just hard because I'm having trouble coming to terms with the end of our breastfeeding relationship. I finally enjoy it and suddenly, instead of counting down the days until I can start weaning, I'm sad that we'll be losing some really special moments.

I'm trying

I went to spin class again today. I was still sore from Wednesday, but I went anyway. About halfway through, the childcare folks came to get me because Sprout wouldn't stop fussing. I was glad. I think she could feel my, "I don't think I'm going to make it another half an hour" vibes. I got her in the car and heard her grunting and pooping all the way home. By the time we got there, she felt much better! I'm going to try to make going to the gym part of our daily routine. I hope I enjoy it enough to stick to it.

DH and I are going to a concert tomorrow night. I have to admit that I'm not to excited about it, but we are staying in a hotel for the night and sleeping in on Sunday. I am excited about that. We decided that driving and hour and a half home after a concert was probably not going to be fun. I kind of feel bad that we just left Sophia for a whole weekend and now we're leaving her again, but she doesn't seem to mind, and my mom loves having her, so date night it is!

Things I don't want to forget

Sprout and I have been busy this week!

I never want to forget:

1. Her sour face when she tries a new food. She scrunches up her face so much, you'd think she just sucked on a lemon. Then she promptly eats more. Cracks me up.

2. She was bee-bopping her head imitating her dad this morning. She tries to imitate us all the time - mostly DH.

3. The way she snuggles up and calms down when we sit in our rocker and read a story together.

4. The way she studies things so carefully.

5. How her daddy loves to pick out clothes for her when we go shopping. Lets just say she does not need any more denim jumpers!

6. She learned how to pet the dog instead of grabbing him. It's too cute.

7. The way she waves - just throws her hand up in the air when we say "bye-bye." Sometimes she waves it, sometimes she just looks like she wants to ask to go to the bathroom.

8. Seeing her with her first real pair of shoes.

9. Her new clicking noise. I think she spoke one of those African clicking language in a previous life. She's way more interested in strange sounds than actual language.

10. Her fearlessness and determination- it's inspiring and scary at the same time.

12. Her beautiful grey-blue eyes that look like they might be turning brown with gold flecks around the pupils.

13. The way she reaches for me when she's upset or just wants to be picked up.

Some days are harder than others

I'm not sure why, but yesterday, I really woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I'm sure that it was partially hormonal, but my crabbiness was worse than usual. I was short with Sophia and everything DH did seemed to annoy. Then, my iPhone fell out of my pocket when I went to the bathroom. Yep, plopped into the toilet. I fished it out only to watch it die. It was sad. I officially can no longer tease DH about the time he dropped the hospital pager into the toilet. At least I don't have to go tell my boss about what happened :)

Then, I was writing in my journal last night and just lost it. I was sobbing like crazy. Just feeling like a failure, like I should be able to do better, do more, be a better mom. I'm not a lot better today, but I am a little better, so I guess I just keep trucking.

I did make it to the YMCA this morning. Sprout had a blast in their childcare, but she also had a little foam heart and a piece of paper towel in her mouth when I picked her up, so I'm not sure how closely they were watching her. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt once, probably, because I could see the horror on their faces when I pulled stuff out of her mouth. It looks like they are used to dealing with older kids. Maybe getting out and getting moving will help my general disposition.

30 Day Blog Challenge

Write a new blog post 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Can I do it? I'm not sure, but I'm going to give it a try. I think the official start day is next week, but I might as well get warmed up by blogging a little bit more this week. We'll see how it goes! If you want to join, follow the button on my blog, which will take you to Sarah's awesome blog, Falling for Baby. And let me know you did, especially if I'm not already a follower of your blog, so that I can follow your progress.

Weight Loss

So, I really haven't posted about it here, but DH and I started Weight Watchers back in May. He had a check-up that didn't go well - high blood pressure and cholesterol, and I'm significantly overweight, so it kind of gave us the push we needed to get our acts together. We talked about it for years, but just couldn't make anything stick. Now, things are more serious. We have a little girl who we want to be healthy and not learn our over-eating, couch potato habits. It was clear that we needed some kind of program, so we have been doing Weight Watchers online. When my mom found out we were doing it, she joined, too, so we have our own little group to encourage each other.

I've lost 23 pounds so far. I'm proud of that, but I'm also a little frustrated that it puts me just under my pre-pregnancy weight. So, in some ways, it feels like I'm just starting. The good news, is the clothes I was wearing before I got pregnant are now fitting rather loosely. I'm going to wait a little while to buy a few cold weather slacks and such to get me through the season. It's a long road. I probably need to lose about 40-50 more pounds.

The even better news is that DH (who didn't have nearly as much to lose), is almost to his goal weight. He looks great. His cholesterol and blood pressure are back to normal.

My next challenge is trying to figure out exercise. I need to get something going, but figuring out how to do that has been hard. I think I've decided to try taking a class at the YMCA where we are members and taking Sophia to the childcare there, but I haven't gotten brave enough to go yet. I'm a little self conscious about my out-of-shapeness and I'm nervous about leaving Sophia. I know I need to suck it up and get to it. Maybe this will be my week!

NYC trip and Things I don't want to forget

So, I'm a day late, but our little Sprout has been a busy gal! DH and I had a fabulous getaway last weekend in NYC. Traveling without a baby and all her gear was so luxurious, that getting there really was half the fun. We played scrabble on the plane ate leisurely meals, wandered carelessly, not worrying about schedules. We slept until 10am on Saturday and stayed out late. We saw Mama Mia! on Broadway and had the best cheesecake I've ever eaten at a little restaurant we just happened into on Friday night. It was wonderful and I highly recommend it. Part of me wishes we'd done it sooner, but I'm not sure I was ready to leave my baby. It was incredibly nice to have some extended time to just be a couple again and do the things we loved doing together.

Pumping was tough. I had a really hard time getting a letdown at all with the pump and I only pumped minimally and got very little milk (which was still really hard to dump, so I made DH do it). But, when I got back, she latched on and nursed without and issue and we've been fine ever since. So, I guess it was enough!

I was planning on saying all that in a separate blog post, but since I'm a lazy bum, it's all rolled into one. So here's what she's been up to:

1. She's a big time crawler now. Full crawl, all the time, everywhere. Mommy is already tired of chasing her and it's just the beginning!

2. She waved bye-bye to daddy leaving for work for the first time this morning.

3. One of her favorite pastimes is pulling books off of shelves.

4. She stayed with grandma the whole weekend and behaved very well!

5. She's doing much better with her naps. We still miss one here and there, but overall, she's been going down better.

6. She still really wants to walk all the time. She likes to trick people into helping her walk by acting really sweet and holding their hands and then suddenly pulling herself up. I think if she knew how to say, "let's go!" she would!

7. Her four top teeth have finally poked through. I can't believe how grown up it makes her look. I'm getting less and less of a baby and more and more of a little girl. It's exciting and sad and wonderful and scary all at the same time.

8. She's eating lots of finger foods. She loves cut up green beans, even though she hated the green bean purees. She just stuffs them in her mouth. She also likes berries and strips of banana and hands full of couscous. She loves feeding herself and we're starting to have a harder time feeding her purees now.

So we've been busy!