Things I don't want to forget

So this week I'm early. Who would have guessed. Sprout is asleep and our amazing new cleaning lady is at work, so I'm here trying to stay out of her way.

Sprout has been busy.

She is walking everywhere. She no longer wants to be carried. Shew wants to do it herself. This resulted in our first full-fledged in-public tantrum yesterday when I thought I'd just run into the store really quickly to grab one thing. Oops.

She repeated the alphabet after me today. Okay, a lot of the letters were not recognizable, but a lot of them were. She is trying to say all the sounds and I love it.

New "words" : "ka" for duck, "off," "no-no" (not terribly excited about this one), "go"

We got her new good walking shoes at the Stride Rite outlet yesterday. I love them and she

likes them, too.

I try to put bows in her hair, but she unfortunately inherited my thin wispy hair and I just can't get them to stay in very well. When they do, they are so cute, though! I was never into the headbands, so it's fun to finally get to play with my little girl's hair. I'll have to figure out something soon since her hair going to be in her eyes before long.

She is now attached to her lovey. She didn't care about it for a year, but now it is an absolute necessity. Luckily, she's not yet picky about which lovey she has, but she wants it. And usually it takes some time to get her to let it go after a nap or waking up in the morning.

I moved the camera for our video monitor and adjusted it so that I could see her in the whole crib. She still manages to squirm herself all the way into a corner so that I can only see her body and not her head. If I point the camera at that corner, she squirms to the opposite one. She knows where it is and she does not like to be watched!

We took her to a cafeteria style restaurant on Monday and fed her off of our plates. She liked the chicken and the beef and the green beans, but what did she really love? Mushrooms. Strange kid.

I can't wait to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and see her enjoy Thanksgiving dinner for the first time, since she was too young to participate last year. I hope she cooperates!

Things I don't want to forget

Sprout is toddling everywhere now. It is so amazing to me. She's a full fledged walker now. It still surprises me when she comes around the corner and she's walking. And she looks so tall to me - I guess because I'm seeing her standing up so much more!

She is trying to say more words, mostly imitating what we are saying. She says, "affe" for "giraffe" and "goggy" for "doggy." "At" is "cat" or "light" depending on the context. She's very fond of "up" and still says "buh" for "book" all the time. She is starting to get some of the animal names in her animal books, but she's not consistent yet. I love it when she just tries to repeat whatever I say to her.

She is still not napping well and it's starting to drive me crazy, especially since she's still getting up at 5:30 since the daylight savings time shift. We just put her to bed early yesterday because she was so tired and cranky and we couldn't take it any more. I hope she starts taking her naps soon!

We had family portraits taken this week. It's still hard for me to believe we've come so far as a family and when I look at them and see this amazing little girl with so much personality, I am just in awe.

She is becoming a toddler in lots of ways - one of which is that she has become very demanding. I can't have anything on the table that I don't want her to have. She'll point and have a meltdown if I won't give it to her. Yay for the beginnings of tantrums! Better stock up on the ibuprofen.

Yet, there's not anything that can melt your heart quite like a little girl walking wobbly to you with her arms open for a hug, saying "mama" with a big smile. Yeah, that's what I signed up for. It makes the tough times a lot easier.

But it's Natural!

So, I've been thinking about something for awhile now. I read a lot of people who make a lot of decisions and judgements about motherhood based on what they consider "natural."

Before I go on, I'll point out that I am a breastfeeding (well was until recently), cloth-diapering, baby-wearing mom. I don't necessarily have anything against particular decisions people make, just the idea that what they are doing must be "right" because it's "natural" or "it's the way it's been done for thousands of years."

People justify their decisions by referencing parenting practices in developing countries. I guess they feel that since these countries haven't been corrupted by the medical community or the other entrapments of development, they must be better in some way.

I lived in a developing country for nearly 3 years. I really got to know a lot about the people and the culture there. And in the end, there were beautiful wonderful things that I will carry with me always and that I hope will be a part of my life and my mothering. And there were other things that were frightening and that I rejected with every fiber of my being.

I think baby-wearing is great, because it makes my baby happy and allows me to do things more freely - not because the women in Malawi do it. You see, in that culture, a mother must be with her baby every moment of every day until the child is weaned, and even then she is soley responsible for childcare. She wears the baby because she has little choice. She must care for the baby while still maintaining her household, cooking and cleaning and tending the garden. It certainly bonds her to the baby, but sometimes it is not a choice that she makes.

I chose to breastfeed because I know it was healthy for my baby and I hoped for a special bonding experience. But there are many women in the world that have no choice. When I was struggling with breastfeeding, I often thought about those women. If they had supply issues or couldn't get their babies to latch, it was a life-or-death situation.

And women gave birth at home or at a local clinic tended by a midwife. There is something wonderful about that and I don't think badly of anyone who chooses a home birth or a midwife, but when their reasons are "women all over the world do it this way," I do raise my eyebrows. Probably because I saw just how many babies didn't survive in one of those places. I also knew a woman in my village who died in childbirth. We are so lucky to have options and back-up plans. It's not like that "all over the world."

I guess the point of all of this is to say that I feel so very blessed to live in a place where we have so many options and choices. I just think that sometimes we forget that they are just that - choices. In the West, sometimes, we have a tendency to romanticize village life and think about it like some really great, extended camping trip. I loved my time in Africa. I took with me many lessons that make me a better mom. I became aware of more options and ways of doing things. But I never took for granted that the way things were done there were "right." Perhaps because I didn't just see a documentary. I lived there and I got to see the beautiful parts of the culture, but also the ugly parts.

There are many days that I long for the simplicity of village life and miss the amazing community of women that surrounded me there. I wish I could take that spirit and infuse it into my community here. But I am also so thankful for all of the opportunities and choices that I have for myself and will be able to provide for my daughter. It's wonderful to look for ideas and take things from other peoples and cultures, but when we fail to see the big picture, we make them into charicatures. We forget their daily struggles and the obstacles they face to simply access basic health care and education. We dismiss our responsibility to help the women in those parts of the world have those same choices we often take for granted.

Girls' weekend in Las Vegas

So, I said I'd write about my weekend away in Las Vegas. I met up with my three favorite college girlfriends. We have scattered about the country, and don't talk nearly as often as we wish we did, but we're still close friends and make an effort to visit when we can. This was the first time in several years that all four of us had been in the same place, though. I hope we can make it a tradition!

It was so nice to get away and not worry about the obligations of home and baby. It was nice to not worry about pumping at all or or breastfeeding and, best of all, not be on any kind of schedule. We just wandered and decided on a whim where to go and what to do. Between jet lag and mommy hood, we weren't night owls, but we chatted into the night and slept in (for us, anyway). We took our time and did things for ourselves.

On Saturday morning, I checked FaceBook from my phone. DH's status: "Mommies - they do more before 10am than most people do all day." I hope that he has a better understanding of what I do in a day and why I don't keep the house in better shape. He seems to be more appreciative. Of course, since then he's been whining about needing some time off himself, so I'm not really sure the message sunk in as well as I'd hoped.

I do know that he needs time away, too, don't get me wrong. I just feel like sometimes he gets away all the time, but it doesn't "count" whereas anytime I leave him with the baby, he tries to consider it free time, even if I'm going grocery shopping. *sigh* He means well, but I have a feeling that there is much more negotiating in our future! I am enjoying the extra measure of respect he seems to have for my day to day activities, though.

So, I highly recommend a weekend away without husband or baby. Or even just a night - whatever you can manage. It did wonders for me and despite my reservations, I think it was really good for my marriage, too.

Things I Don't Want to Forget

The picture is from the Teddy Bear Picnic that our city held downtown yesterday. It was a lot of fun. We had lunch and listened to stories. Sprout was one of the youngest ones there, but she had fun, especially, "Going on a Bear Hunt."

Sprout is a walker, for sure! In less than a week, she went from a few wobbly steps to toddling across the room. As DH says, we're proud and petrified!

She has mastered the surprised face. She opens her mouth wide and gasps with her eyes wide open. It is so funny. Then, when we start laughing, she cracks up, too.

She has started really imitating sounds now. Before, she just did her own thing, but now, you can change from "mooooo" to "mama" to "aaaaaaah" and she follows right along. And if you do a sounds she doesn't know how to make, she just stares at you like you're from outer space.

She has become such a silly little girl. I never would have expected it, since she was such a serious baby for so long, but she is a real goof these days and it's so much fun. She really keeps us laughing. She makes funny faces and noises and loves to laugh and play games. She brings us such joy!

Yet, she still loves to rock with me when it's time for sleep. We snuggle up and just rock for awhile until she's calm and ready for her nap or bedtime. I can't help but smile and gush when she's just starting to drift off. Such a beautiful moment.

She is starting to figure out the shape sorter. She's a long way from getting the right shapes in the right holes, but she's actually trying to do it, now, which is fun. And she likes to just sit and take the shapes out and put them inside the lid and then put them back in. I'm not sure what she's thinking and trying to figure out, but I sure would like to know what's going on in that brain of hers.

She knows more words than we think. She only really says "buh" (book), "up," and "mama" consistently, but she understands a lot more. Last night I just told her we should dance and she started dancing. I was surprised that she just recognized the word without all the silly things I usually do when I want her to dance with me.

She knows where noses are, but won't point to her own, or let me touch it, either. She'll touch everyone else's, though! She knows where her ears and toes are, too. She used to know where her mouth is, but she seems to have forgotten that one for now. We've been singing a lot of "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." She loves it and tries to follow along as best she can. She's got the "toes" part!

Speaking of toes, when you pull off her socks, she wiggles her toes and smiles like she's seeing her long lost friends. Too cute!

Operation Weaning Sprout

So here's my post about weaning. I don't know what else to say except, "she's weaned." We took things slowly for about 6 weeks. I dropped one feeding at a time and replaced it with a sippy cup of milk. The first morning feeding was the last to go. I nursed her on Thursday morning while lying in bed. We snuggled and I stroked her hair and told her how much it all meant to me and how I was going to miss it. She just nursed. We switched sides and I told her all over again.

I marveled at how beautiful she is, how much she has grown and developed into a little girl. I thought about those days when I had blisters on my nipples and cried through every feeding and how my stubborn streak was the only thing that kept us going. I wondered if weaning now was the right thing to do, but I knew that it felt right.

I'm so glad that I stuck it out and got to experience the pleasant, happy side of BFing. And I'm glad that we ended on a high note. It was hard, but so worth it. It feels a little strange because, although it is such a big milestone to me, it really doesn't feel like much has changed. Our days are just about the same. We did that on purpose so that the transition would be easy for both of us, and it was successful, but like so many things, it's a little anticlimactic. Kind of like the last day of school. The kids leave and you're just sitting there with a pile of paperwork. You're happy and relieved, but you still have to get on with things.

I have had no engorgement or discomfort at all, which is nice, but a little strange, since I was expecting it.

To be fair, I left Friday morning for Las Vegas. It was the perfect way to celebrate and reward myself for a year of Breastfeeding. I got a weekend for just me. No husband, no baby, just my college girlfriends and a carry on bag. I'll talk more about the trip later, but I think that weaning right before I left was perfect because I didn't have to be the one to give her that cup of milk instead of nursing her for the first couple of days. And I really needed the time to myself.

So, we did it. I nursed Sprout for over a year. I'm proud and relieved. And I'm a little sad, because my baby girl isn't a baby anymore. I guess all those mommas know what they are talking about when they say that it all goes by so fast.

Things I don't want to forget

Yeah, so I'm late. Life has been a little crazy and I traveled this weekend (more on that later), so I got a little behind. It was an exciting week, though!

For Halloween, Sprout wore her farm-girl/Holly Hobby dress again. She had a plain pinafore to wear with it. On Friday night,we went to visit her daddy since he had to work. Then she helped me pass out candy to the gazillion Trick-or-Treaters we had come through. She almost choked on a Tootsie Roll. Then on Saturday, we drove to a nearby town so that her dad could actually take her Trick-or-Treating to a few houses, since they were celebrating on Saturday night. He had fun. Sprout didn't care at all.

Then, on Wednesday, Sprout took her first steps! Her dad started a game where she stands up and kind of falls into him and he throws himself backward like she pushed him down. She thinks it's hilarious, so I've been doing it with her, too. I started putting her further back and all of a sudden, she took some steps to get to me! She stood by herself and then took steps. I couldn't believe it! Since then, she's been stepping more and more. It won't be long before she's walking nonstop, I predict. I was so happy she did it before I was gone for the weekend. I was so worried she was going to walk for the first time when I was away!

On Thursday, Sprout nursed for the last time. We were down to one feeding and since I was leaving the next day, it was a logical time to end. I'm actually pretty okay about it, even though I am a little sad. My baby isn't a baby anymore and I will definitely miss that special time with her. But it was time and she hasn't skipped a beat.

There is lots more to say and write, but I think that's enough for now. It's been an exciting week for us!