20 Weeks update with pictures

So here are a few pictures from the last couple amazing weeks.  There's a 20 week bump picture and our favorite shot from the 18 week ultrasound.  How amazing it was to see her wiggling around in there!  And now I'm starting to feel her move and even thump me a few times.  Wow...this making a baby stuff is pretty cool.

My husband  is amazing.  I love him so much.  He wrote the most beautiful letter to our daughter.  I was crying when I read it.  He's going to be such a great daddy!  He has also gone baby crazy, pushing to register and decide on everything from car seats to wash cloths.  It's so cute!  We also ordered the nursery furniture, which made him very happy.  He was ready weeks ago, but I told him he had to wait until after the ultrasound to make any major purchases.  

One of my students finally asked me if I was pregnant.  She came up to me after class and asked, "There is a rumor going around that you are going to have a child.  Is it true?"  I told her that it was.  She congratulated me very calmly and then ran to discuss with the rest of her classmates.  It was kind of cute.  I could tell she had really thought out exactly how she was going to ask me.  So the word is out, which is kind of a relief.  Today, I posted a photocopy of an ultrasound picture on the board.  Believe it or not, there were still quite a few students who had no clue.  But they know now!

So I have 8 more days with students and 2 more weeks total of work.  The end is near, but there is a lot to do before then!  

19 weeks - wow!

It really is still so hard to believe that we've made it this far.  I think that the ultrasound made it much more real for my husband, because he has gone baby crazy since then.  He even started reading a parenting book last night.  I just want to cry, I love him so much.  

We've decided on a name, but we're keeping it a secret for now, despite all of the interrogations. At this point, it's not hard, since we can just kind of pretend we haven't decided yet, but I'm sure it will get harder.  We'll probably cave before the end, but we might as well leave something fun to tell people later, right?  

My mom is coming in today and we're going to go and order the nursery furniture that my husband and I picked out last week.  It's expensive, but he says "go for it" and we said that our tax refund was going for baby, so I guess we're going to splurge.  I feel a little guilty, but it's all made in the USA, so we're supporting the economy, right?  (help me rationalize, okay?)

And my bump is starting to look like a bump, which is kind of crazy. I think I need a new shirt for my pictures, but it's kind of fun using the same one, so I don't know.  I've been feeling flutters of movement here and there which is absolutely amazing.  Of course, it makes me a little paranoid when I can't feel her, which I know is completely irrational.  I guess you never stop worrying when you become a mommy, do you?

What a great day!

Our ultrasound was perfect and we're having a girl!  We are beyond excited.  All of a sudden, it just all seems more real.  My husband said, "you're having a baby, just like you were yesterday, but it's different, somehow."  

She was flipping and turning and moving all over during the ultrasound, but the tech was able to measure everything that needed to be measured, and she gets an A+.  Everything was normal.  She has very long legs (just like me).  My husband and I both got teary and he had to run right over to his office to show off the pictures.  She's got him wrapped around her finger already, and she hasn't even met him!  

Then we spent the day going to Raleigh to shop.  There isn't much available in the small town where we live, except for Target and Walmart.  I think we found furniture we love.  Of course, in the process, my husband fell in love with the most expensive stroller/travel system known to man, so that should lead to some interesting discussions.

I'm not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, but it will be fun to tell my coworkers the news.  It's awards day, so there will be many distractions.  Next week is standardized testing, so things are winding down.  It's strange to think that this is the last time I'll do this for awhile.  

Big Ultrasound Tomorrow!

We never got around to taking a picture this week.  It was a busy weekend.  My college girlfriend (also my maid of honor) came in to visit.  It was so much fun.  I'm so bummed that I'm going to miss her wedding in October.  I keep teasing her about making sure she has a web cam set up.  I want to go so badly!  But of course, I'll hopefully be busy with a newborn by then.  

I'm so nervous and excited about tomorrow's ultrasound.  I'm excited to see the baby, but my paranoia is setting in, too.  I just hope that everything is fine.  DH is more excited about finding out the sex than I am (and I'm pretty excited).  Mostly we're eager to see the baby again and to find out that the bean sprout is healthy - 4 chambered heart, good brain, you know the important stuff!  

I've been feeling flutters the last few days.  It's really strange and exciting.  It just becomes more real all the time.  Of course, I also had a terrible nightmare last night that I don't remember.  I just woke up terrified with my DH stroking me telling me that I was okay.  I was awake for another 2 hours because I couldn't sleep.  It made for a very long day today. 

My students still haven't gotten brave enough to ask me if I'm pregnant, but they are grilling all of the other teachers.  It's pretty funny.  They all refer the kids to me, but I'm still waiting.  I guess it says something that they are hesitant to ask a woman if she's pregnant.  We'll see.  I'm still enjoying watching the 12 year old kids gossip.  If it doesn't come out before then, I figure I'll post an ultrasound picture after testing is over.  Surely one of them will ask me what it is, right?  14 days of school...they just seem to keep getting longer, but at least I have tomorrow off!

Mother's Day

17 weeks and still growing!  I messed up the picture by posing all wrong and getting my arms mixed up, but my wonderful husband has decided to make a production out of my weekly photos.  I didn't want to endure another photo session of him dragging around his tripod to find the right light to retake the picture.  Hopefully you can see that the bump in front has grown.  There is no doubt that the bump behind has grown about the same amount.  Eek!

We had a doctor's appointment on Friday and everything looks great.  I had my blood drawn for the quad screen, so I'm sure I'll be a little nervous this week, waiting for the results.  Our big ultrasound is in 2 weeks, and we're very excited about that!  

After the appointment, we left for a lovely weekend at the beach.  I don't think I realized how much I needed the getaway until I was there.  I had a hard time this week at school.  I overreacted to a few situations and generally just got more frustrated than normal with the normal middle school junk.  I hope I do better this week.  Everyone is stressed with End-of-Grade testing approaching quickly.  Just a few more weeks!  The beach was wonderful, though.  I love just laying in the hotel room with the balcony door open listening to the ocean.  I could do it for a month, I think!

And my wonderful husband even got me a card and gift for Mother's Day.  The card was really funny and the watch he got me was great, too.  I'll have to get a couple of links taken out before I can wear it.  Or maybe I should wait...

And on this Mother's day I can't help but think about all the women who are still on the journey toward becoming mothers.  I'm also thinking about my best friend who lost her mother this year to cancer.  I know that this can be a painful day.  I remember many Mother's Day church services where women left in tears for reasons I did not understand.  I'm so joyful today, but I understand that many people are grieving and I want you to know that I think of you, too.  I wish I could make it easier.  

16 weeks and finally a picture

Really?  16 weeks?  I have a doctor's appointment on Friday and then DH and I are going to head to the beach for the weekend. I can't wait.  My students are still gossiping, but they don't know yet.  I'll string them along as long as possible!  

I'm having a terrible time sleeping and the books all say that I should stop sleeping on my back this week.  I've been trying, but I always end up that way when I wake up, even when I tuck pillows all around me.  I know it's not a reason to stress, but I want to do the right thing.  

So here's a couple of pictures from last week (15 weeks) and this week (16 weeks).  My husband didn't give me any warning, so my shirt is all wrinkled up on today's, but at least you can kind of see a bump, right?  Right?  2 people this week said that they couldn't believe that I was this far along and not showing at all.  I know I had a little extra fluff, but people, my tummy was not that big!  

Thoughts at 15 weeks

So, I looked back at my early blog entries and I started crying.  I remember feeling hopeless after my miscarriage.  I remember my husband feeling helpless.  I remember thinking that I'd never get (and stay) pregnant and dreading the coming months because I assumed that they would bring more heartache and disappointment.  

And then we got our surprise.  How wonderful it is!  Not long after we had the first ultrasound at 8 weeks and began to feel like this really might be it for us, my husband said something interesting.  He said that he felt like one of those couples that gets so wrapped up in the wedding that they forget about the marriage.  We had been thinking so much about getting pregnant, that now it was such a shock to start imagining the idea that we were going to be parents.  He's right.  Even before we began TTC, we had lots of talks and jokes and general fun thinking about what it would be like to have children.  But as TTC became a longer journey, those playful moments became painful instead of fun.  It's so nice to have that back now.  

Of course, I am aware that my journey to pregnancy was not nearly as long as so many others, and I realize how much I've learned from the year of TTC.   I believe that I'm more understanding and less likely to judge others.   I believe I'm more sensitive and think more about how I approach others whose struggles I may never know.

Early in the school year, a colleague had a baby that was stillborn.  It was a horrible shock to everyone.  Today, she offered me her maternity clothes.  It still makes me want to cry for her. She is amazing.  She talks so openly about her pregnancy, losing the pregnancy weight, her symptoms and issues.  It seems like she wants to talk and so I let her.  Maybe it's an outlet that she needs.  But it's still so incredibly sad - and scary.  

On another random note.  One of my classes apparently had a discussion in science class about whether or not I was pregnant.  It seems that one of the kids overheard a conversation I had with another teacher.  One girl just suggested the practical solution - just wait and see if her stomach gets big.  We'll see if any of them get brave enough to ask me or if the gossip just continues for another few weeks.  The belly is definitely getting bigger.  The curiosity will get the best of them eventually!  For now, I'm loving it.