What kind of parent am I?

Nothing like your kids to bring you down to earth, right? I've been thinking about some of the new things that Sprout has been saying lately. Some of them make me think about changes I need to make. Some of them make me feel really good. Some are just funny. I'll let you guess which are which. Here are some of her latest verbal achievements:

• "Ask to help."
• "Good-bye, papa bear."
• "Awesome"
• "Large Diet Coke"
• "Say Prayer"
• "Oh my word!"
• "Mommy numbers please"
• "Daddy to work."
• "That's your child."
• "Jesus Loves Me, This I know..."
• "Too hot to go out for walk"
• "Bowl in the kitchen"
• "Hungry. Something to eat"
• "actually"
• "no screeching"
• "listen to mommy"

I'm sure I missed plenty and there are more and more every day. It's hard to believe that she knows and hears and understands so much. A year ago, we were wondering when she would talk!

What did I do?

So, last night, DH and I were talking and I was trying to figure out how in the world I stayed home almost completely for the first few months of Sprout's life. Now things are so busy and we go out and do something almost every day unless she's sick or something.

Then I remembered. She was a miserable, colicky, newborn that nursed 30-45 minutes out of every 2 hour period. Basically I nursed for 4 months! Actually, that schedule continued for quite a few months after that, but finally most of her feedings shortened and I could nurse her for a few minutes while out and about (still 20-30 minutes until she was about ready to wean at 11 or 12 months).

I have to admit that thinking about doing that again makes me cringe. I love that I breastfed her, but the newness of motherhood and the overwhelming exhaustion just let me to put one foot in front of the other. I didn't really think about what I could be doing. If/when we have another baby, it will be different. If s/he nurses the same way it will be incredibly hard on Sprout and me. I'm really not sure if we'll be able to EBF if that's the case. I'm hoping for one of those babies that can finish a meal in 5-10 minutes and to avoid a lot of the supply and pain issues I had during the first 6 months that made it even harder for me to nurse when I wasn't home in my comfy chair.

There's no way to know the future, but there's been a lot of talk in my circles lately about breastfeeding. I did it. I loved it. I hated it. It's a blessing and a sacrifice. The loss of freedom didn't really bother me until toward the end, but thinking about the future, it bothers me a lot. I know that I will do my very best to breastfeed any future children, but if I said that my feelings about it were all of smiles and cuddles and sweet baby smells, I'd be lying.

She is Beautiful

So, my friend posted this article on FaceBook recently:

How to Talk to Little Girls

In case you don't want to read the article, the main point is that when people talk to little girls, they often focus on appearance instead of asking questions or commenting on what they are doing. The author suggests that this teaches girls to be a part of our culture's obession with appearance and promotes body-image issues. (It's an over-simplification, but read the article if you want a better explanation.)

And it got me thinking. I tell Sprout that she is beautiful many times a day. I also tell her that she's cute and gorgeous and any number of other compliments that relate to her appearance. Is that bad? I'm not sure. I also tell her that she's smart and I encourage her in all sorts of other ways. But is that enough?

I don't want her to be obsessed with having a perfect body or hair, but I also know that I won't be able to shield her completely from the culture in which we live and the pressure that her peers will provide. So I want her armed with the knowledge that her parents believe she is beautiful. It would be great if she didn't care at all, but I know better. There will be a point that she will wonder if she measures up. I will always find her beautiful and fabulous and I plan to tell her so. Am I contributing to the problem? Maybe, but I hope that instead, I'm giving her something more valuable. A sense of belonging, an ability to understand that beauty means different things to different people, security that no matter what messages the world throws to her, she will be safe with me.

So, I will make a point to encourage her intellectually and complement her ingenuity and curiosity and creativity. But I'll also continue to tell her that she is beautiful. Because, well, she is. And she always will be.

Thoughts on our German trip

Just a few silly thoughts DH and I compiled during our trip:

I don't mind paying for restrooms, especially when they are kept extremely clean by attentive attendants.

One of my favorite things to do in a foreign country is tour a grocery store. You can really learn a lot that way.

When you mix beer with lemonade or fruit syrup, it's actually pretty good.

Though it seems impossible, a three minute layover is actually plenty of time when making a train connection in Germany.

Germans really like ice cream - keeping DH from eating 6 ice cream cones a day was quite a challenge.

They also value freshly squeezed orange juice, which made me very happy!

Berliners take the crosswalk signals very seriously and rarely cross on a "don't walk" signal, even right in front of the British Embassy where the road was blocked off and there was no traffic.
I wonder if the people complaining that there weren't more signs and tours in English are the same ones complaining about things in the US being translated into Spanish.

I will never understand why DH spends so much time and energy choosing, packing, and carrying so much camera gear when he uses the same stuff all the time.

Traveling for long periods of time in a foreign country is a great way to test any relationship.

It's a good thing we walked so much or I wouldn't have been able to fit into my clothes when we left. They are feeling pretty snug as it is.

We were impressed that the large toy store had only one small section of (mainly American branded) bleepy toys. It was filled, however, with wooden toys, dolls, puzzles, and construction sets of all sorts.

Every toilet in every stall has its own toilet brush.

You have to admire a country with a public transportation system that is largely dependent on the honor system.

I really should have known from my Peace Corps days that when a local says that a path, "isn't too bad," they really mean, "we never heard from the last foreigner who went that way."

A German Adventure

DH and I abandoned our baby girl and escape to Germany for a week. Okay, we left her safely with her grandmother and they both had a great time, and so did we. It was hard to leave her for so long, but we did Skype a few times and stay in touch. And I really think the trip was a good thing for me, my husband, and for our marriage. Being a couple doing something we love to do is a good thing. It was a special trip for our 5th anniversary, coming up on July 8.

I know that I've raised a few eyebrows leaving for a week, but I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm not supposed to want to leave her. Maybe it was just the length and distance of the trip. But I have always been a wanderer and traveler. We've traveled all over with Sprout and we'll continue to do so, even this summer. We also want her to be secure and independent and know she can survive without us. If she were a different child, we may feel differently. But we were confident in her care and in her ability to handle us being away. And we were right.

Anyway, it was an amazing trip. Perhaps I'll tell you more about it in the coming weeks as I get myself back into the right time zone :)

I'm in Awe

Lately, I'm having more and more of those moments where I just look at my little girl and just think, "wow, she's really her own little person. She wasn't and now she is. And she's my little girl."

I love that she wants to learn and, even though it drives me crazy, I love that she asks me to read the same book over and over until she really knows it. Then I catch her "reading" it to herself. I laugh at her when she gets crazy excited about her number puzzle or begs to go for a walk even when it's 97 degrees outside. I smile at her silly faces and the goofy inflections in her voice when she says certain things.

I was putting together a photo book for DH for Father's Day and looking at the pictures from the last year, marveling at how much she has grown and changed. I see her all grown up walking to the car carrying her lunch box on her way to Mother's Day Out and I get a little teary, but in a good way. What joy she has added to our lives!

Sippy Cups

So, last night, Sprout and I were wandering through Target. She needed new sippy cups. So, we found the right section and then my dilemma began. There were "boy" colors and "girl" colors. I needed some take and toss cups (we reuse them until they fall apart or are eaten by the dog, by the way). I picked the green and blue ones over the pink and purple. No biggie.

Then it got harder. For the fancier cups, one set had pink flowers and the other had cars and trucks. The flowers were way cuter, but I felt like I "should" buy trucks. I was seriously frozen. What do I do? Eventually, I found the easiest solution to the problem - let Sprout choose! She chose the flowers and that's what I bought.

I have these moments all the time. I want her to know that it's okay and wonderful to be a girl, but know that she doesn't have to be limited to "girl" things and "girl" colors. I want her to be confident and empowered and I realize that what sippy cup she has when she's less than 2 years old will not make or break the values she has as she gets older. But I also know that the little things are sometimes the most important. That's where we send the most powerful messages about what we really believe. So, I probably fret too much about the colors of sippy cups and place mats. I just want to keep a check on myself so that she always knows that the whole world is open to her.