What a great day!

Our ultrasound was perfect and we're having a girl!  We are beyond excited.  All of a sudden, it just all seems more real.  My husband said, "you're having a baby, just like you were yesterday, but it's different, somehow."  

She was flipping and turning and moving all over during the ultrasound, but the tech was able to measure everything that needed to be measured, and she gets an A+.  Everything was normal.  She has very long legs (just like me).  My husband and I both got teary and he had to run right over to his office to show off the pictures.  She's got him wrapped around her finger already, and she hasn't even met him!  

Then we spent the day going to Raleigh to shop.  There isn't much available in the small town where we live, except for Target and Walmart.  I think we found furniture we love.  Of course, in the process, my husband fell in love with the most expensive stroller/travel system known to man, so that should lead to some interesting discussions.

I'm not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, but it will be fun to tell my coworkers the news.  It's awards day, so there will be many distractions.  Next week is standardized testing, so things are winding down.  It's strange to think that this is the last time I'll do this for awhile.  

Big Ultrasound Tomorrow!

We never got around to taking a picture this week.  It was a busy weekend.  My college girlfriend (also my maid of honor) came in to visit.  It was so much fun.  I'm so bummed that I'm going to miss her wedding in October.  I keep teasing her about making sure she has a web cam set up.  I want to go so badly!  But of course, I'll hopefully be busy with a newborn by then.  

I'm so nervous and excited about tomorrow's ultrasound.  I'm excited to see the baby, but my paranoia is setting in, too.  I just hope that everything is fine.  DH is more excited about finding out the sex than I am (and I'm pretty excited).  Mostly we're eager to see the baby again and to find out that the bean sprout is healthy - 4 chambered heart, good brain, you know the important stuff!  

I've been feeling flutters the last few days.  It's really strange and exciting.  It just becomes more real all the time.  Of course, I also had a terrible nightmare last night that I don't remember.  I just woke up terrified with my DH stroking me telling me that I was okay.  I was awake for another 2 hours because I couldn't sleep.  It made for a very long day today. 

My students still haven't gotten brave enough to ask me if I'm pregnant, but they are grilling all of the other teachers.  It's pretty funny.  They all refer the kids to me, but I'm still waiting.  I guess it says something that they are hesitant to ask a woman if she's pregnant.  We'll see.  I'm still enjoying watching the 12 year old kids gossip.  If it doesn't come out before then, I figure I'll post an ultrasound picture after testing is over.  Surely one of them will ask me what it is, right?  14 days of school...they just seem to keep getting longer, but at least I have tomorrow off!

Mother's Day

17 weeks and still growing!  I messed up the picture by posing all wrong and getting my arms mixed up, but my wonderful husband has decided to make a production out of my weekly photos.  I didn't want to endure another photo session of him dragging around his tripod to find the right light to retake the picture.  Hopefully you can see that the bump in front has grown.  There is no doubt that the bump behind has grown about the same amount.  Eek!

We had a doctor's appointment on Friday and everything looks great.  I had my blood drawn for the quad screen, so I'm sure I'll be a little nervous this week, waiting for the results.  Our big ultrasound is in 2 weeks, and we're very excited about that!  

After the appointment, we left for a lovely weekend at the beach.  I don't think I realized how much I needed the getaway until I was there.  I had a hard time this week at school.  I overreacted to a few situations and generally just got more frustrated than normal with the normal middle school junk.  I hope I do better this week.  Everyone is stressed with End-of-Grade testing approaching quickly.  Just a few more weeks!  The beach was wonderful, though.  I love just laying in the hotel room with the balcony door open listening to the ocean.  I could do it for a month, I think!

And my wonderful husband even got me a card and gift for Mother's Day.  The card was really funny and the watch he got me was great, too.  I'll have to get a couple of links taken out before I can wear it.  Or maybe I should wait...

And on this Mother's day I can't help but think about all the women who are still on the journey toward becoming mothers.  I'm also thinking about my best friend who lost her mother this year to cancer.  I know that this can be a painful day.  I remember many Mother's Day church services where women left in tears for reasons I did not understand.  I'm so joyful today, but I understand that many people are grieving and I want you to know that I think of you, too.  I wish I could make it easier.  

16 weeks and finally a picture

Really?  16 weeks?  I have a doctor's appointment on Friday and then DH and I are going to head to the beach for the weekend. I can't wait.  My students are still gossiping, but they don't know yet.  I'll string them along as long as possible!  

I'm having a terrible time sleeping and the books all say that I should stop sleeping on my back this week.  I've been trying, but I always end up that way when I wake up, even when I tuck pillows all around me.  I know it's not a reason to stress, but I want to do the right thing.  

So here's a couple of pictures from last week (15 weeks) and this week (16 weeks).  My husband didn't give me any warning, so my shirt is all wrinkled up on today's, but at least you can kind of see a bump, right?  Right?  2 people this week said that they couldn't believe that I was this far along and not showing at all.  I know I had a little extra fluff, but people, my tummy was not that big!  

Thoughts at 15 weeks

So, I looked back at my early blog entries and I started crying.  I remember feeling hopeless after my miscarriage.  I remember my husband feeling helpless.  I remember thinking that I'd never get (and stay) pregnant and dreading the coming months because I assumed that they would bring more heartache and disappointment.  

And then we got our surprise.  How wonderful it is!  Not long after we had the first ultrasound at 8 weeks and began to feel like this really might be it for us, my husband said something interesting.  He said that he felt like one of those couples that gets so wrapped up in the wedding that they forget about the marriage.  We had been thinking so much about getting pregnant, that now it was such a shock to start imagining the idea that we were going to be parents.  He's right.  Even before we began TTC, we had lots of talks and jokes and general fun thinking about what it would be like to have children.  But as TTC became a longer journey, those playful moments became painful instead of fun.  It's so nice to have that back now.  

Of course, I am aware that my journey to pregnancy was not nearly as long as so many others, and I realize how much I've learned from the year of TTC.   I believe that I'm more understanding and less likely to judge others.   I believe I'm more sensitive and think more about how I approach others whose struggles I may never know.

Early in the school year, a colleague had a baby that was stillborn.  It was a horrible shock to everyone.  Today, she offered me her maternity clothes.  It still makes me want to cry for her. She is amazing.  She talks so openly about her pregnancy, losing the pregnancy weight, her symptoms and issues.  It seems like she wants to talk and so I let her.  Maybe it's an outlet that she needs.  But it's still so incredibly sad - and scary.  

On another random note.  One of my classes apparently had a discussion in science class about whether or not I was pregnant.  It seems that one of the kids overheard a conversation I had with another teacher.  One girl just suggested the practical solution - just wait and see if her stomach gets big.  We'll see if any of them get brave enough to ask me or if the gossip just continues for another few weeks.  The belly is definitely getting bigger.  The curiosity will get the best of them eventually!  For now, I'm loving it.  

Time to Celebrate!

We just got back from a fun trip to New York.  My husband got to tell the rest of his family about our coming new addition and everyone is very excited, of course.  We posted messages on our Facebook pages on Easter morning, so we've been receiving lots of well-wishes and congratulations from our more distant friends.  It's nice to not be keeping a secret anymore and to feel like we can really celebrate.  Easter seemed like such an appropriate time to let the cat out of the bag!

Speaking of secrets, my students don't know yet.  There are rumors floating around some of the girls and they've started asking questions to other teachers, but no one has confirmed it yet.  I'm sure someone will be brave enough to ask me soon.  But apparently some of of my kids think I'm just putting on some weight.  One of my students brought me a book on Thursday - "Eat this Not That" the diet/weight loss book!  I know the kid meant absolutely nothing by it, but it had me in stitches.  The rest of the 6th grade teachers thought it was pretty funny, too.  He also let me know that he had all of the Biggest Loser books at home if I wanted to borrow them!  The funny part is, I actually haven't gained any weight since my first appointment.  I am definitely changing shape, though, especially around the middle.  Hilarious.

We'll see how long after spring break it takes for all of my students to figure out that I'm pregnant.  

12 Weeks and Counting!

It is still hard for me to believe a lot of days.  I keep thinking about all of the days that I was sure I would never get pregnant.  Now, I've stopped hiding the pregnancy books from the maid service that comes every other week.  My school knows that I'm pregnant.  We're going to tell the rest of friends and family in the next week or two.  I'm starting to develop a little bump.  No one but me and my husband could tell, I'm sure, since I'm a little on the fluffy side, anyway.

My best friends from out of town will be learning about our little one when they receive their Easter packages this week.  I started making Easter baskets for them when we were in college and I've kept it up ever since.  There's always a theme and this year's is baby.  My closest friend already knows, because my due date will be causing me to miss her wedding in October, which makes be very sad.  She's quite eager for everyone else to know, too!  We're going to see DH's family over Easter weekend, so we'll be telling them in person.  He has worked so hard to keep it a secret.  He's not the best secret keeper, usually.  I think he's been managing by telling everyone else on the planet!

For some reason, I'm not really looking forward to my students finding out.  I teach middle school and I'm just not sure how they will react.  I'm not their favorite teacher.  Hey, I teach math, it comes with the territory!  We get along fine, but they are middle school kids and I usually have a very thick skin, but if they start making comments about baby, I don't know if I'll handle it well.  I'm probably just being paranoid.   They'll likely be very excited and all will be well.  My plan is to wait until one of them asks me and just say that, "yes, I am pregnant." Then time how many seconds it takes for the whole 6th grade to know.  Their gossip networks work fast!  Anyway, it's just a matter of time.  

My husband got to go to my 12 week appointment with me this week.  The OB warned us that he was looking for a very tiny heart in a very tiny baby, so not to worry if it took him awhile to find it with the Doppler.  Then, about 10 seconds later he found it!  I'm glad the little sprout decided to cooperate.  Now, my husband wants to go to all of my appointments, which is very sweet.  I think that he was really disappointed that he missed the first one with the ultrasound and now doesn't want to miss anything!  It's great, though.  I love having him there, even if the whole appointment only took 20 minutes.