On Stage

Now that Sprout is doing and saying so much more, it is becoming even more obvious that she is watching everything we do. And it makes me realize how important it is to set a good example. But I don't always do it. I've been trying really hard, but we all have bad habits, right?

I bite my nails. I play with my phone too much. I am doing better, but still don't always make the best food choices. But now it's not just about me. I'm teaching Sprout with every thing I do. And it makes me painfully aware that I will teach her some things that aren't what I would want for her. I hope those things are few, but none of us are perfect. And I will cause her pain. I've made mistakes and not always been the mom I want to be, but as she grows older, she will remember those times that I snapped at her or didn't treat her the way I should have. She will develop habits and ideas about herself and the world based on my own flaws.

I pray that the good will outweigh the bad. I pray that she will see and learn respect and compassion for others, and herself. That she will see us live what we believe and profess and seek to do the same. That she will forgive us for our imperfections and that we will have a close, positive relationship for many, many years. But sometimes I fear that I will mess it up.