I love my little girl so much and I feel like I'm failing her and like I've let my whole family down because I can't do a better job with her, with the house, with everything. I thought that it may be related to my menstrual cycle at first, but now, instead of ebbing and flowing, it seems like I feel like this most of the time. DH made a counseling appointment for me, but we had to cancel because I had no one to take care of Sophia, which made me feel even worse.
We're going on vacation next week. Hopefully, the beach won't be covered in oil and it will be a nice getaway and I can deal better with life when I return. Right now, I just feel kind of rotten. I may very well delete this post later because I don't anyone to know, even people I only know online. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed, but I am. And I'm scared. I grew up terrified of my mom because she exploded in anger all the time. I can't be like that. Sophia deserves better. I will get help, but I just don't know how right now.
1 comment:
Hey, I just want you to know I am thinking about you. I am so proud of you for recognizing that you need to get some help with whatever it is you are going through right now, thats a huge step. You will find the right way, whether its a counselor or what not, to help you get through this.
It is hard work to be a mom. Its also hard to have your life completely change and I think that sometimes the excitement and "newness" of it all can dissipate and you are left with...life. And that isn't always easy. I say this from experience because I often feel a lot of what you are feeling- anger, short tempered, failure. Its hard to feel that way but just know you aren't alone.
You are going to be ok and you are going to get through this. You are a good mom and Sophia is a beautiful girl- she is lucky to have you as a mom.
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