My amazing girl

I haven't said much about Sprout lately. I fear that if I tell you everything she's up to, you won't believe me, but here goes.

• She will be 2 next month. How on earth did that happen? We are planning a Chicka Chicka Boom Boom party. I can't wait!
• She knows all of her upper and lower case letters and most of the sounds that letters make. She is particularly fascinated with the letter, "h."
• She continues to memorize her books. I'm not sure I even know how many she has completely memorized right now. I love listening to her "practice" while she's in the car seat or trying to keep herself awake.
• She recognizes at least a half dozen words and knows how to spell them: her name, "mommy," "daddy," "grandma," "Flash,""cat," "stop," "on," "off," and possibly a few others. Craziness.
• She started her new KinderMusik class this week and she was in heaven. She loves it so much it's fun to watch. She moved up to the toddler class which is fun because it's more kid-focused and less parent-focused. I couldn't believe it when she sat down nicely to listen to a story. Whoah.
• She figure out how to jump this month and loves to show off her new skill, along with shuffling and marching.

I'll stop there. But I will say that the child makes my jaw drop constantly. Her vocabulary is astounding and every day, she seems to know something else that children her age aren't supposed to know. And to think a year ago I was worried because she didn't talk at all. Language explosion, indeed!

The Pediatrician: Behind the Scenes

So, you know that DH is a pediatrician. Some of his experiences and our conversations this week have made me realize that most people have no idea how things work behind the scenes and make a lot of assumptions. Obviously, every office works differently, but from the pediatrician's wife, there are a few things you may want to know:

1) When they are running behind, the doctors are not in the back playing poker. They are stressed, too. They don't want to be behind, but one complicated patient can throw off the whole day. Remember that sometime, you may be the patient that needs the extra time and TRY to be understanding. If you have been waiting longer than 20 minutes, it is perfectly reasonable to ask nicely how long things may be. Yes, they probably should tell you without asking, but things can get crazy and it doesn't always happen.

2) The doctor probably has little or nothing to do with the office staff, the receptionist, the billing folks, or the nurse you talk to at night on the phone. If you have a problem with any of those folks, you have to tell the doctor, or he probably has no idea and can't help solve your problem.

3) If you don't understand why your doctor is performing a test or prescribing a medication or you have doubts about it, please ask him. He really does want to help you and your child, but he can't read your mind. Just discarding his advice and ranting about it to everyone you know is really not helping anyone. At least give him the chance to explain it to you. You may be surprised that another option is available that could make you both happy.

4) Every doctor is different. You may not get along with a doctor and your friend may love him. That's okay. They all have different styles. It doesn't mean that one is a bad doctor, just that one is a better match for you.

There's probably a lot more, but it's taken me three sittings to get this far because, well, it's been one of those days! Stay tuned for part two!

The Blessing of a Skinned Knee

After reading an article recently about helicopter parents and other such issues that quoted this book, DH and I decided to read The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, by Wendy Mogel. It was a very interesting read.

The book centers on using Jewish teachings and principles to guide parenting. I admit that I don't know a lot of details about Jewish tradition, but it was written in a way that was very accessible and made a lot of sense as someone from a related faith tradition. There was nothing earth-shattering about the advice given, but what was different was the perspective. Instead of looking at everything in purely psychological terms, explanations were woven with religious teachings and traditions. I appreciated that different point of view.

As the title suggests, the author spends a lot of time suggesting that parents need to teach and instruct more, and protect their children less. That, in protecting our children from failure, pain, and consequences, we actually handicap them because they grow up unable to cope with negative emotions or events.

Has it changed my parenting? Not really. But it did prompt some good discussions between DH and I. And we did make one pretty big change. After the chapter about electronic devices, we decided to observe a stricter form of "Sabbath." Basically, we decided that on Sunday, until sundown, we would not use any electronic gadgets - TV, Internet, cell-phones, iPads, etc. It hasn't been easy, but it has been extremely valuable. It forces us to unplug from the outside world to rest and really enjoy our time together as a family without distraction. We've also tried to make Sunday dinner more special. I don't spend all day cooking or anything, but we take out the good china and light a few candles.

It's a pretty easy read, so check it out if you get the chance.

What kind of parent am I?

Nothing like your kids to bring you down to earth, right? I've been thinking about some of the new things that Sprout has been saying lately. Some of them make me think about changes I need to make. Some of them make me feel really good. Some are just funny. I'll let you guess which are which. Here are some of her latest verbal achievements:

• "Ask to help."
• "Good-bye, papa bear."
• "Awesome"
• "Large Diet Coke"
• "Say Prayer"
• "Oh my word!"
• "Mommy numbers please"
• "Daddy to work."
• "That's your child."
• "Jesus Loves Me, This I know..."
• "Too hot to go out for walk"
• "Bowl in the kitchen"
• "Hungry. Something to eat"
• "actually"
• "no screeching"
• "listen to mommy"

I'm sure I missed plenty and there are more and more every day. It's hard to believe that she knows and hears and understands so much. A year ago, we were wondering when she would talk!

What did I do?

So, last night, DH and I were talking and I was trying to figure out how in the world I stayed home almost completely for the first few months of Sprout's life. Now things are so busy and we go out and do something almost every day unless she's sick or something.

Then I remembered. She was a miserable, colicky, newborn that nursed 30-45 minutes out of every 2 hour period. Basically I nursed for 4 months! Actually, that schedule continued for quite a few months after that, but finally most of her feedings shortened and I could nurse her for a few minutes while out and about (still 20-30 minutes until she was about ready to wean at 11 or 12 months).

I have to admit that thinking about doing that again makes me cringe. I love that I breastfed her, but the newness of motherhood and the overwhelming exhaustion just let me to put one foot in front of the other. I didn't really think about what I could be doing. If/when we have another baby, it will be different. If s/he nurses the same way it will be incredibly hard on Sprout and me. I'm really not sure if we'll be able to EBF if that's the case. I'm hoping for one of those babies that can finish a meal in 5-10 minutes and to avoid a lot of the supply and pain issues I had during the first 6 months that made it even harder for me to nurse when I wasn't home in my comfy chair.

There's no way to know the future, but there's been a lot of talk in my circles lately about breastfeeding. I did it. I loved it. I hated it. It's a blessing and a sacrifice. The loss of freedom didn't really bother me until toward the end, but thinking about the future, it bothers me a lot. I know that I will do my very best to breastfeed any future children, but if I said that my feelings about it were all of smiles and cuddles and sweet baby smells, I'd be lying.

She is Beautiful

So, my friend posted this article on FaceBook recently:

How to Talk to Little Girls

In case you don't want to read the article, the main point is that when people talk to little girls, they often focus on appearance instead of asking questions or commenting on what they are doing. The author suggests that this teaches girls to be a part of our culture's obession with appearance and promotes body-image issues. (It's an over-simplification, but read the article if you want a better explanation.)

And it got me thinking. I tell Sprout that she is beautiful many times a day. I also tell her that she's cute and gorgeous and any number of other compliments that relate to her appearance. Is that bad? I'm not sure. I also tell her that she's smart and I encourage her in all sorts of other ways. But is that enough?

I don't want her to be obsessed with having a perfect body or hair, but I also know that I won't be able to shield her completely from the culture in which we live and the pressure that her peers will provide. So I want her armed with the knowledge that her parents believe she is beautiful. It would be great if she didn't care at all, but I know better. There will be a point that she will wonder if she measures up. I will always find her beautiful and fabulous and I plan to tell her so. Am I contributing to the problem? Maybe, but I hope that instead, I'm giving her something more valuable. A sense of belonging, an ability to understand that beauty means different things to different people, security that no matter what messages the world throws to her, she will be safe with me.

So, I will make a point to encourage her intellectually and complement her ingenuity and curiosity and creativity. But I'll also continue to tell her that she is beautiful. Because, well, she is. And she always will be.

Thoughts on our German trip

Just a few silly thoughts DH and I compiled during our trip:

I don't mind paying for restrooms, especially when they are kept extremely clean by attentive attendants.

One of my favorite things to do in a foreign country is tour a grocery store. You can really learn a lot that way.

When you mix beer with lemonade or fruit syrup, it's actually pretty good.

Though it seems impossible, a three minute layover is actually plenty of time when making a train connection in Germany.

Germans really like ice cream - keeping DH from eating 6 ice cream cones a day was quite a challenge.

They also value freshly squeezed orange juice, which made me very happy!

Berliners take the crosswalk signals very seriously and rarely cross on a "don't walk" signal, even right in front of the British Embassy where the road was blocked off and there was no traffic.
I wonder if the people complaining that there weren't more signs and tours in English are the same ones complaining about things in the US being translated into Spanish.

I will never understand why DH spends so much time and energy choosing, packing, and carrying so much camera gear when he uses the same stuff all the time.

Traveling for long periods of time in a foreign country is a great way to test any relationship.

It's a good thing we walked so much or I wouldn't have been able to fit into my clothes when we left. They are feeling pretty snug as it is.

We were impressed that the large toy store had only one small section of (mainly American branded) bleepy toys. It was filled, however, with wooden toys, dolls, puzzles, and construction sets of all sorts.

Every toilet in every stall has its own toilet brush.

You have to admire a country with a public transportation system that is largely dependent on the honor system.

I really should have known from my Peace Corps days that when a local says that a path, "isn't too bad," they really mean, "we never heard from the last foreigner who went that way."