3 Months and I'm a Slacker

That baby of mine sure does eat up a lot of time. She's wonderful, though, and doing great. She's starting to smile more in the mornings, which makes her daddy and me happy. She found her hands and chews on them constantly. She's interacting more and has found her voice, so she coos and talks to me. It's the best.

Unfortunately, she has a cold. It's made her a bit cranky, but she's handling it well. She's still sleeping at night (praise be!), but has a hard time during the day. Her coughing wakes her up. We seem to be on the downhill now. Her cough is better today, but she's extra snotty and draining a lot.

She was baptized on Sunday and was beautiful. She behaved very well and just stared at the priest when he poured water on her head. I'll have to post pictures soon of her in the the amazing gown that my mom made for her. She worked really hard on in and it's gorgeous. I hope we'll be able to use it for future children and that it will be in the family for a very long time.

But now it seems that she's awake again, so I'd better attend to her hungry belly. Nursing is going so much better. I think the nipple blisters were caused by my bras. No more sports bras for me. I need something that keeps things still and doesn't rub. I just have to find something better to sleep in than regular bras I was wearing during pregnancy. I ordered a couple, so hopefully something will work. Those blisters are incredibly painful!

2 month check up

Our little girl now weighs 10 pounds, 12 ounces and is 24 inches tall. She's right on track in everything. Her weight is in the 38th percentile and her height is in the 90th. There was a little worry at first about her head circumference because she had jumped from like the 30-something percentile to the 88th, which is not normal. However, when our doctor remeasured, he got an inch and a half less, which put us an a much more normal curve and out of any worry or danger.

She checked out very well and was really calm through the whole thing, until her shots. Her doctor commented on her great head control and we talked about her reflux. We talked about the fact that she doesn't really smile (only a handful of times, so far) or interact much yet. It was a good appointment. She was pretty grumpy most of the afternoon and evening, but still slept well.

The next day, she woke up and was smiling up a storm, so I think her doctor must have talked to her about it!

Two Months Old

Has it really been two months already? Has it really only been 2 months? I feel like I'm in a strange time warp. Sophia is wonderful. She's growing well and has her 2 month check up and shots (gulp) tomorrow. She has slept through the night for several days in a row, so we're hoping this trend continues. We definitely approve.

On the other end, though, she's been fussing/crying/screaming up a storm every evening. DH is already calling it colic and I guess that's probably what it is as there's no other explanation. It could be related to her reflux, but doesn't seem to be associated with her feedings. That's a whole different issue, but one we're still struggling with, too. Anyway, on Thursday, when DH was on call, she screamed and screamed. I ended up driving with her for an hour, which calmed her down, but as soon as we were back in the house, the screaming began again. Then, I gave her a bath, which calms her down, but as soon as she was out, the screaming began again. I really thought I was going to lose my mind. She finally went to sleep around 11pm. The next night was only a little better because DH had a migraine and couldn't really help, either. It was rough. Last night, though, we went out to DH's office Christmas party and she stayed with my mom. It was a nice break. When we came home, she was fussy, but went down relatively quickly.

Another consequence of sleeping through the night is my cycle is trying to start again. I've been through 3 rounds of PMS symptoms and spotting in the last few weeks as her feedings have spaced apart at night and she has one long stretch during the day, too. I haven't had a full period, but it's really aggravating. I mean, I was counting on not having a period for quite awhile since I was exclusively breastfeeding. We were hoping to use breastfeeding as our birth control for the first 6 months. But, alas, no! I'm not sure what we'll do now.

She's beautiful and wonderful and frustrating and time-consuming. I love her deeply and sometimes wish I could be a better mom for her. I mean, I'm doing my best, but she's so perfect, I can't help feeling bad when I get frustrated or upset or can't calm her when she's so obviously in some kind of pain. I hope this screaming phase passes soon, because it can sure wear a mommy down. It's a good thing she's so darn cute!

8 weeks and Reflux

Wow! Sophia is 8 weeks old today. She's grown and changed so much, it's hard to believe. She gets more beautiful every day, I think, if that's even possible.

A few weeks ago we started having difficulties feeding. She was fighting me and screaming a lot when I was trying to feed her and started spitting up a lot more. It's kind of handy to live with a pediatrician every now and then. He suggested that it could be reflux and got a prescription for Zantac. We started her on it and she got better, but I wasn't really convinced that it was reflux. I thought maybe she just had a few fussy days. We tried taking her off it a few days later and she got fussy again. Plus, I did some reading and it did sound like that's what she had, so we decided to keep her on the medication.

Then the last few days, we started having problems again. Generally, when she starts to squirm while I'm breastfeeding, it's because she has a gas bubble. I can burp her and she's good to go, but not now. She just got worse and worse. I must have forgotten everything that happened weeks earlier because I didn't even think about it being her reflux until DH suggested we up her dose of Zantac since she's gotten bigger. We decided we'd do that with her evening dose yesterday.

We never made it that far. One feeding in the afternoon took two hours because of all the screaming and misery. I felt so bad for her and I also felt bad for me. I was in tears because I just didn't know what to do to help her. She starts writhing and thrashing when she latches on and it's tearing apart my nipples. Finally, I text DH and he suggests giving her a little boost of Zantac. Praise be, it worked! She settled down and ate.

I was a mess when DH got home and I was supposed to go to a class at my church. I put on my shoes and DH looked at me and said, "why don't you just go to bed?" So I did. It was wonderful. She fed well, but woke up at 1am instead of 3, which is her normal time these days. Then, she was ready to party. After she ate, she was so glad to be feeling better that she was not interested in sleep, so I put her in her crib to party with with the animals in her mobile and sat down in the comfy chair to take a nap. She eventually got fussy and I was able to swaddle her and get her to sleep. And then she took a nice nap after her early morning feeding, so I napped, too.

She's been doing really well today, though still a little squirmy at the breast, so we'll see. Hopefully, the extra medication does the trick and I'll be back to my happy baby. She's not been napping much at all lately - just 20 to 30 minute catnaps, which makes it difficult to get anything accomplished. In retrospect, my husband thinks that might have also been because of the reflux. She's doing great today, so we'll see.

We have officially moved up a size in diapers. The newborn cloth and disposable diapers no longer contain her messes and we've moved on. They grow up so fast!

Seven Weeks

So, I've become an errant blogger, but Sophia keeps me so busy! If I could blog easily from my iPhone, I might keep things updated better.

She's doing beautifully and growing well. No day is like any other. She's had a few days where she slept 6-7 hours per night and then last night she was back to 3-4. But she sleeps well during those hours, so I don't feel like I can complain much.

Breastfeeding was really hard at the beginning, but has gotten much better. She eats about every 2 and a half hours during the day and it takes her 40 minutes to an hour to feed, so that's what I spend the majority of my day doing. I've had a couple of milk blisters (called "blebs" isn't that a great word?). They are extremely painful when she latches on, but are a pretty minor thing in the breastfeeding realm and don't affect her feeding much.

I was doing some things to increase my supply early on because she wasn't gaining weight well, but I stopped when things were looking better. I'm going to start again, because I think it's been a little low in the evenings. She just doesn't seem satisfied, and yesterday she was feeding almost two hours straight. She'd stop and I'd need to change her and then she'd want to eat again. My Lactation Consultant recommended fenugreek, mother's milk tea, and red wine. Oatmeal is also supposed to help. So, I've started back with the fenugreek now. We'll see if it helps. I pump after our first morning feeding to build up a freezer supply. I think I may start also pumping after an evening feeding, to increase my own milk supply. I hate pumping, though, so I'm not sure I'll follow through with that.

She's starting to have longer awake and happy times now. It's fun to interact with her a little more. We took her to weigh her on Monday and she weighs 9 pounds, 10 ounces. So, she's up about 2 pounds from her birth weight. I can definitely tell that she's heavier. She's getting much better head control and lifts up her head really well during tummy time.

Overall, I'm simply in love and so grateful that I get to be home with her. Some days are really difficult, but I can't imagine going back to teaching right now, as I'd have to go back next week. I was worried that I'd want to go back to work and was second guessing my decision to take the year off, but now there is no doubt that I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

I feel like there's so much more to say, but this is long enough already. I'll just have to try to blog more often. If Sophia ever gets more consistent with her naps, that will be much easier!

Birth Story, Finally

Since our baby was breach, and the external version (described in an earlier post) didn’t work out, we scheduled a Cesarean Section for the following Tuesday morning. Our daughter had a birthday! I repacked all of the hospital bags since I knew I wasn’t going to labor and would have a longer hospital stay. On Monday night, my OB, who I love and trust, called to tell me that he had the flu and could not do the c-section. He said that we could try to wait until he was on again on Thursday, but that he recommended that I go ahead and have it with one of his partners, so that’s what we did. I had seen that doctor several times, so at least it wasn’t a stranger.

We arrived at the hospital, as directed, at 5am. The surgery was scheduled for 7:15. I was admitted and sent to the lab. Only, no one was in the lab because they were out rounding. We waited for about 30 minutes before my husband called up to the L&D floor and explained the situation and we were instructed to come on up. I was really glad to have my husband there, who works in the hospital as a pediatrician and, knew all the nurses in L&D and the nursery. We got to the room (the same one I had been in for the version) and I got changed and settled. I hated the nurse. She was high strung and frantic. She kept talking to another nurse the whole time about another patient and was driving me crazy. I could tell my husband felt the same way. When she left the room, his first words were “shift changes in 30 minutes.” I laughed and figured I could survive that long. They started an IV for fluids and hooked me up to the monitors again.

The shift did finally change and I got a fantastic nurse, much to my relief. She was calm and professional and just what I needed. Unfortunately, the surgery was delayed because another woman came in who was in labor and was having her second c-section. So, I pulled out my magazine and my iPod and settled in for a wait. It went rather quickly and the doctor came in. They did an ultrasound to check position one last time. Of course, she hadn’t moved at all. They gave me the beautiful surgical hat and walked me to the OR. My husband said that the time we were separated there was the hardest part of the day.

I got to the OR and onto the operating table. The anesthesiologist did the spinal, which was nothing. I kept reading about how bad that would be and I think getting my flu shot hurt more. I immediately layed down and they draped the curtain. The worst part was that I wasn’t quite numb when they inserted the catheter. Yikes! Luckily, I numbed up quickly and they brought in DH.

From there, everything went really quickly. Before I knew it, the OB was saying, “Got one foot,” pause. “Okay, here’s the other foot.” Pause. “Here come the girl parts.” And then she came out and I heard all the suctioning and pretty soon, she let out a cry. And so did I. The doctor held her up over the curtain, and I don’t care what anyone else says, she was beautiful straight out of the womb! Sophia was born at 9:35am. She was 7 pounds and 9 ounces and 22.5 inches long. Her cord had been wrapped around her shoulder, which was likely why she couldn’t turn head down.

They cleaned her up and DH went over to see her. The pediatrician attending the section said that our daughter looked like him and then yelled over to me, “don’t worry, she’s beautiful.” Everyone laughed. DH brought her over to me and they untied one arm so that I could touch her, which is what I wanted more than anything. I just stroked her head and the tears were falling. I couldn’t believe that she was here and healthy. A couple of pictures were snapped. You could tell that DH was smiling ear to ear, even though he was wearing a surgical mask.

I thought I’d want DH to stay with me for the rest of the surgery, but once I saw him with Sophia, I didn’t want him to leave her side. Everything was going fine, so I sent him with her. He was able to give her the first bath and be with her in her first moments. Once the baby was gone to the nursery, someone turned on some happy music and the whole tone changed. Everyone was happy and relaxed and chatting. I had a really bad pain in my left shoulder, which was more annoying than anything because I couldn’t move. I was trying to massage it with my free hand, but that didn’t work very well. I told the OB that my doctor had told me that he did the best incisions. The other nurses agreed that it was true, and later on, several nurses looked at my incision and said, “Ah, must’ve been Dr. X.” They finished up and wheeled me back to the L&D room. DH was already there. They brought in Sophia in a short time later.

I can’t even begin to describe holding her for the first time. I was just amazed. She was so calm and alert. We stared at each other, just trying to take it all in. I attempted to nurse, with some help, but didn’t have a lot of success. Both of our mothers made it to the hospital soon after and were able to see and hold the baby. We didn’t call them to come until after we felt like we had sufficient time alone with her.

Eventually, they wheeled me to my room on the post partum floor, which was huge! It was hard not being able to move and trying to hold and nurse and take care of the baby as much as I could. DH did almost everything, because I just couldn’t. But I held her and tried to nurse her as often as I could. Since I didn’t go into labor, I don’t think she was getting anything at first, so she just kept getting frustrated. It was the beginning of quite an ordeal and we didn’t nurse successfully until about a week after she was born. Luckily now, she’s doing great.

The first week was really hard. Walking, standing, sitting, and especially coughing and laughing hurt. I really couldn’t do much and I needed lots of help. I’m glad my DH was home with me. After that, it gradually got better. I never had huge amounts of bleeding, but I’m still spotting occasionally 5 weeks later. Otherwise, I feel pretty much back to normal. I get occasional twinges near the incision, especially if I’ve tried to do too much, but that’s about it.

Breastfeeding is hard work and was really rough at the beginning. Since my milk didn’t come in, we had to supplement. We didn’t want to give her a bottle, so we cup fed her formula for about 4 days and I pumped at every feeding. My milk did come in sometime on the second day, but Sophia still wouldn’t latch. So, we kept going through the routine of trying to get her to latch, her refusal, then cup feeding and pumping. It was exhausting. Finally, on the fourth day, in the afternoon, I was sitting with her and tried to get her to latch and she did. Yay! She got progressively better. I’ve had some other minor issues, but in general, she’s been feeding and growing really well.

Being a mom is hard work. I knew that going in, but like many things in life, you can’t really understand it until you experience it. I love that little girl with all my heart and I still marvel at her beautiful face and that we brought her into the world.

Pictures of our Sweet Little Girl

How is she three weeks old already? And what a three weeks it has been. Hopefully, I'll manage to find the time for some more posts soon. She's wonderful, and healthy, and we're so happy. Nothing can prepare you, though, for having a new baby to care for. It is hard work!