Nurture Shock

Nurture Shock: New Thinking about Children

by Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman

I started reading this book awhile ago, but I finally finished it this week. It is basically an analysis of some of the latest research about issues involved in raising and educating children. It is fascinating to read about all of the different scientific studies that often point to results drastically different than we might expect. A few tidbits:

1. Children who are constantly told that they are "smart" are less likely to excel. Since they believe that they achieved things easily because they were smart, when they are challenged, they are more likely to give up.

2. Children do not learn tolerance or acceptance just because they are put in heterogeneous situations or exposed to children of different backgrounds and races. Parents and other caregivers need to explicitly talk to their children about race if they want their kids to learn that message.

3. In adolescence, kids who argue with their parents actually rate their relationships better than kids who don't argue. Arguing can be constructive because it is seen that a parent respects the child enough to engage and listen. (Please remind me of this when Sprout turns 12).

4. There was a stronger correlation between educational television and relational aggression in pre-school kids (bossiness, name calling, refusing to let someone play, etc.), than there was a correlation between violent television and physical aggression.

5. In encouraging language development in babies and toddlers, it's way more important to respond when your baby makes sounds than it is to expose them constantly to more words.

I could go on all day and I encourage you to read the whole book. I feel like I will think about things differently after reading it and, in my opinion, that's a sign of a good read. I may not agree with every conclusion, but it has given DH and I some definite food for thought and I think I'll be re-reading a few chapters as Sprout grows up.

If you do read it, hop by and let me know what you think.

Weight Loss update

So, things weren't going well for a couple of weeks and I was getting discouraged, especially since I was really getting going with exercise and felt like I didn't have much to show for it. Well, it seems that I've turned a corner! I lost 4 pounds this week. I have now lost over 25 pounds. I have quite a way to go still, but I'm feeling better about things, for sure. It's been a little tough for me lately, so I'm glad to see something positive happen!

Baby Super Powers

Sophia has some amazing super powers. Here are just a few:

1. Her amazing super-human vision allows her to quickly find the tiniest speck of plastic/paper/food left on an otherwise clean floor.

2. Her body is magnetically drawn to the most dangerous thing in any room.

3. Her super-speed allows her to get to the tiny specks and objects of danger way before her parents (who are watching her) are able to intervene.

4. She can read minds. She knows exactly how far she can push the envelope when refusing to nap or protesting whatever injustice has occurred. She then knows the moment to stop and smile and hug her mommy so that she won't lose her mind. Seriously, one second more, and that would be it.

5. She has begun performing Jedi mind tricks. She just looks at you all sweet, but it's a trick. She grabs one finger (awwwww) and then the other hand and then, bam! She pulls up and she's got you stuck. It's time to walk.

6. She somehow takes the small amount of food she eats and converts it into 3-4 very full diapers daily. Scientists need to study this phenomenon for sure. It may solve the energy crisis.

7. Speaking of poop, we just learned this morning that her poo is a great moisturizer. (At least that's what we're telling ourselves after finding her rolling in it, eating it and getting pretty messy ourselves trying to clean it up.)

There are, of course, many more, but we can't tell all her secrets. And I'm sure she will reveal more as she grows.

What are your babies' super powers?

Visions of a little girl

So, today, as I walked with Sprout around the house in her little pants and long t-shirt, I caught a glimpse of the little girl that she is becoming. I had flashes of her running about the house, running to her daddy when he comes home from work, bringing me a book to read. I thought a lot about having a baby, but I don't know that I've spent a lot of time wondering about having children. It's a whole new world that I'm entering and I'm excited and nervous and wondering if I'm up to the task.

And this morning, DH came home from a long night of overnight call and Sprout looked up from across the room, gave him a huge smile and came barreling over at full crawl-speed. Melts my heart - and I think it put her daddy in a much better mood :)

Things I don't want to forget

1. DH took Sprout outside while it was raining. He stood on the porch and she stretched her hand out to feel the rain. She was in awe. The look of wonderment still makes me all warm and fuzzy.

2. Sprout loves her books. Given the choice between a toy and a book, she almost always picks a book. She sits with it and turns the pages and reads to herself. She has a book of baby faces in the car. We strap her into her car seat and then hand her the book. She always gets a huge grin on her face and then starts laughing when she opens it up to the first page. She loves that book and thinks it's hilarious!

3. DH got an Ergo carrier last week and has been carrying Sprout on his back. She loves it and they are so cute together. The funniest thing is when little kids don't realize he has a baby until he passes by. One kid turned to his mom and said loudly, "That man has a baby in his backpack!" It's really fun and DH loves the attention, though he'd never admit it.

4. Yesterday, Sprout decided that she didn't need her morning nap, so I picked up fussy pants and brought her downstairs. I started playing the piano to burn off my frustration. She immediately quieted and listened. I haven't played much at all in recent years, but I may have to start again if it quiets a fussy little girl!

5. She pulls up on EVERYTHING now. She was really picky for a long time, but now she just wants to stand up - furniture, pant legs, boxes, baskets that she ends up pulling over on top of herself instead, you name it.

6. She still loves to walk with someone holding her hands, but sometimes, she just wants to get down and crawl so she can go wherever she wants. She is officially in the "into everything" stage and it makes me tired! She is currently investigating my stationary box.

7. She is eating mostly table food and finger food now. She loves to eat. For breakfast this morning, she ate 3/4 of a banana, 3 prunes, and a piece of toast.

8. Sprout has figured out that it's fun to feed the dog her food instead of eating it herself. And she knows she's not supposed to do it. She gives me this mischievous grin and then drops something on the floor for the dog. I have a feeling I'm going to see a lot of that grin in the coming years. And we'll have to start putting the dog outside while we feed Sprout.

9. Every day she looks less and less like a baby and more and more like a little girl. It's wonderful and a little sad all at the same time.

Up

Last night, DH and I made sure we got Sophia in bed by 8:00. We'd kind of been stretching her bedtime to closer to 8:30. After some talking this weekend, we decided that we'd all be happier if we went back to 8:00. She's plenty tired, but it makes a jaunt to walk at the mall (which we've beeen trying to do since it's been too hot and humid to walk outside) a little more difficult. However, it does give us a little more time in the evenings, which we both seem to need.

So, last night, she got snuggled into bed and we watched a movie - Up. So sad. I'm not sure if it's good when a movie makes you cry in the first 10 minutes. But it was really sweet and cuddling with DH on the couch was nice, too. We need to do stuff like that more often.

What is so hard?

I wonder that sometimes. Why is being a mom so difficult? Especially now that Sprout is older, there is really very little in my day that is actually that tough. She's feeding well most of the time. Her tears are usually calmed fairly quickly. She sleeps well (knock on wood). And yet, I find myself so overwhelmed sometimes. By what, exactly? It's not hard to do the dishes or play with Sprout or wash the diapers. It's not even that hard to take her out shopping anymore. But it still feels like I'm drowning sometimes and just can't keep up. I wonder how working moms even survive when I'm home all day and can't manage to keep the house clean.

Someone reminded me yesterday that I didn't quit my job to be a housekeeper. I did it to be a mom and I needed to devote myself to that. Okay, that sounds great, but I often feel like I don't do that very well either. Shouldn't I be doing more? Should I be reading more? Playing with different things? Researching new activities? Taking her on more trips? Maybe I'm just in a funk, but I just can't help thinking that I'm continually failing where other moms seem to have it all together and I really can't figure out why.